▶ Your Answer :
A
growing environment affects children's intellectual, emotional, and physical
growth extensively. Some people think that rural areas are more advantageous
for children to grow up than big cities. However, I strongly believe that big
cities are more beneficial for the following two reasons. First, an educational
system in big cities is much better than that in rural areas. Second, big
cities are convenient for children to grow up due to their infrastructures.
To
begin with, an educational system is thoroughly important for children to grow
up to be good people, and the system is much well developed in big cities.
There are an enormous number of people who want for an educational system to be
better for their children in cities. This large demand make the system in big
cities be well established. As a result, the curriculum in schools placed in
big cities, for example, is better than that in rural areas. Thanks to the well-established
curriculum, children can learn effectively in schools. Furthermore, there are
various kinds of extracurricular activities including a soccer class, piano
class, reading class, etc. in big cities. By participating in these activities,
they also can learn so many things. In this regard, I strongly believe that big
cities are better place to raise children.
On
top of that, infrastructures which provide safe, convenient, and fresh environments
to raise children are also well developed in big cities than rural areas. The
most important thing for children is safety. In big cities, there are a number
of police stations, fire stations, and hospitals. These facilities help
children to grow up safely. The public transportation system including a bus
and subway in big cities is also conducive to children. With those
transportations, they can enjoy their lives in big cities conveniently. On the
other hand, the infrastructures in rural areas are not well established as
they are in big cities. So, for example, parents have to drive more than a half
hour to bring their children to hospital when they suffer from some diseases.
Therefore, big cities are more advantageous for children to grow up than rural
areas.
To
sum up, not only is an educational system in big cities well established, but
also infrastructures in big cities provide better environment for children to
grow up. Therefore, I think big cities are the better place to raise children
than rural areas.
예상점수: 27-30 총평: 내용, 구성, 문법 모두 크게 문제가 될게 없네요. 다만 infrastructure이라는 단어만 유의하시면 될 것 같아요. 계속 단어가 띄어쓰기가 되어있는데, 실제로는 붙여서 쓰는 단어입니다. 수고 많으셨습니다. |