▶ Your Answer :
Some people take it for granted that it is better for the government to increase the price of gasoline and electricity to conserve fossil fuels.(주제에 사용된 단어를 직접 사용하기보단 사용된 단어들의 동의어/유의어 등을 활용해주세요.) In my opinion, I firmly agree with the statement because it can decrease the rate of using fossil energy sources by depending on more alternative ones(fuel혹은 energy source라고 직접 명시하는 것이 좋습니다.) and public transportation. First of all, the government is able to encourage people to use alternative (alternative의 동의어를 찾아 다양하게 사용해주세요) energy in order to rely less on fossil fuels. If the price of fossil fuels, such as petroleum, oil, and natural gas, increased to some extent, the use of green energy would do at the same rate increase(간결한 단어를 사용하는 것이 좋습니다). This means that people would use fossil fuels less than before. For example, my father installed water boiling system which was a solar-powered machine. It has never been used any electricity produced by coal-burned or oil-consumed energy, and our family has been able to save a large amount of money that must have been spent without the boiling device. These days, all of my family members are content with this decreased utility fee, thanks to solar-based energy source. On top of that, the government can lead people to use public transit more, helping to lessen the amount of fossil fuel usage. In average, as the price of the gasoline traditional energies which should burn themselves to get power soar goes up noticeably, people tend to use public transportation more ranging from buses to taxies. Thus, this situation results in does not only the reduced reduce the amount of fossil fuel consumption but also keeps the environment clean. keep cleaner than before. As an example, According to the article from one of newspaper in Korea, the city of Seoul in the country has raised gasoline cost the price of gasoline since 1990. As time went by, the citizens felt the burden of the increased price, and they and began to ride on communal buses more and as well as try to do carpool sharing frequently. Consequently, the usage of private cars greatly has decreased greatly, making decreasing the consumption of the fossil fuel less consumed. Nowadays, the city benefits from having clearer atmosphere than in the past. To sum up, the rationale behind this government can definitely save gasoline and electricity by increasing the price of two. As the commonly used fuel gets expensive, the policy will lead people to use is that using more alternative energy and public transit. gives us less dependent on the use on oil, coal, and natural gas. Although some people will disagree that it is not best for the government to make gasoline and electricity more expensive andelectricity’ price up for saving to save fossil energy source, I strongly believe that the price has to increase.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30) 1. 문장을 길게 작성하면서 생기는 문법 오류가 일부 있습니다. 때로는 짧고 간결한 문장을 통해 문법 실수를 방지할 수 있습니다. 주어 (단수/복수) 에 대한 동사 일치 + 부사 사용 (동사 뒤에 오는 것) 등에 주의해야 합니다.
2. Conclusion은 지금껏 작성한 부분을 요약함으로서 Agree에 힘을 싣는 부분입니다. 조금 더 결론에 귀결되는 문장을 작성하면 좋겠습니다.
3. To sum up, although ~, S + V 문장보다는 To sum ~. Although, ~ 로 분리하여 쓰는 것이 명료합니다. |