▶ Your Answer :
Indeed, our modern life has become very
complex and intricate. There are so many events happening, and we are living in
a society bombarded with much information. We have limited time and resources,
but we set many goals in anticipation of achieving them. In such context, I
contend that the complexity of modern life makes it necessary for youths to be
able to play and organize for several reasons. (GOOD)
To begin with, time management has become one
of the most essential skills nowadays. Without efficient time management, we
are bound to waste much of our time without completing any tasks. In order to
manage our time well, the very important skill that we need is the ability to plan.
Without such ability, we are unable to not only set our schedule but also
prioritize our events or tasks. In that sense, such planning ability is the
prerequisite to achieve time management skills, which is why it is necessary
for young people to have the planning abilities.
Furthermore, the ability to organize is
another aspect that the young people should possess in order to live under the
complexity of modern life. As I mentioned above, we are living a life while
bombarded with so much information. One thing we have to care for is the
limited time that we have. Due to the time limits, we cannot complete our tasks
unless we have the ability to organize. For instance, at the very moment of
writing this essay, I have limited time, but I have so much things that I would
like to write in the essay. Just listing the pieces of information is not
effective; it just makes a reader bewildered and confused. So as to make the
reader comprehend and get the points I express in the essay, it is essential
that I organize the wealth of information in a structured form. Without a such
well-organized writing, it is needless to say that I will get a rather low
score. --> 첫 번째 이유 및 두 번째 이유 모두 time management를 초점에 두고 있습니다. 1) 시간이 제한되어 있기 때문에 효율적으로 시간관리 2) 적은 비용으로 고효율을 내야 하는 현대사회 때문에 ability to organize가 필요함 다음 처럼 각기 다른 이유로 분리하여 설명해주세요.
To conclude with, our lives have already become
very complex, and it is estimated that it will get even more complex. Living
under such life is a big stress, but I believe that, with the ability to plan and organize, our stress will be mitigated. The ability to plan and
organize will enable us to get time management skills and also give us the tool
to be organized so that we care for the only needed information. - 각 paragraph를 뒷받침하는 구체적인 예시/증거가 있어야 합니다. (사건, 통계, 역사적 사실 등)
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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GOOD
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FAIR
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FAIR
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FAIR
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GOOD
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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