▶ Your Answer : It has been widely debated whether two people whose interests and personalities are different cannot friends. (주제에 사용된 단어와 동일한 단어가 아닌 동의어/유의어를 사용해서 주제를 소개해주세요. whether two people with different interests and personalities can be friends) I personally believe that the relationship between two people with different interests and personalities can cannot be built because of the difference. The first reason is that First of all, their different tendency to spend time makes (tendency: 단수) them to enjoy their leisure separately. The second reason is that Secondly, there are many controversies between two individuals due to their differences. because of different characteristic.
To begin with, different inclination of two people gives rise to spending time individually. Usually, to become closer friend, two people who want to be a friend of each other need to spend lots of time together, knowing about each other and sharing same experiencing various events. which further The shared moments strengthen the bond between two people. But However, the gap of interests and personalities between them usually prevent them from investing a lot of time in same activities. For example, there was a roommate in my college when i was a freshman. Since we lived in same room, the circumstance for being close friend is appropriate. However, we had different interests and characteristics which are opposite to those of each other. I was an introvert who was deeply interested in history and an introverted person whereas while he was a kind of engineering buff and an outgoing person who loved engineering. me spending Having preference for static activities, I spent the most of my free time reading some historical books and movies and going to some places with historical or cultural values such as palaces and walls. Unlike me, he spent a lot of time reading science books which were totally out of my interest and knowledge I could understand and spending lots of time experimenting or getting involved in some complicated mathematics questions outside. So, we could not share same experience which could make our bond stronger. and After I moved out from the dormitory, we barely kept in touch with each other. In retrospect, the physical distance between us was short, about one meter, in our dorm room, but, the mental distance was so far away from each other due to different interests and personalities. (Body paragraph 가 말하고자 하는 바에 비해 예시에 포함된 detail이 과도하게 많습니다. 시간을 같이 보내는 과정에서 introvert vs extrovert 구도로 예시를 작성하거나 static vs active구도로 작성하는 것이 좋습니다. 제한된 시간 내에 주장을 명료하게 펼치는 것이 중요하며 각 문장이 주장하고자 하는 바를 지지해야 합니다.)
Furthermore, owing to difference there are many conflicts between two people due to the gap between two individuals. When two people do something cooperative, the consensus between two people is very crucial since without the consensus, they cannot do anything. But, often (논점과 크게 관련 없는 내용입니다. Friend에 초점을 맞춰야 합니다) two people with different inclination get involved in conflicts easily with regards to decisions making, making it hard for them to build trust to each other. For instance, when I was a college student, I planned for traveling to Japan between semesters with my classmate. a student with same major with me. But, However, due to different perspectives on the purpose of the travel traveling, we could not lead to the consensus about how to spend our money and time in Japan. me considering Visiting cultural and historical values were important to me, while to be vital to travel and he regarding liked eating and entertaining events doing entertaining activities more than anything else when he travels. to be important for the trip. So, even we fought because of this planning process and Eventually, we could not arrive at the conclusion and the plan for travel was canceled, leading to our friendship falling apart.
To sum up, two people with different characteristics and interests are not able to become friends. First, their The different inclination to spend time make them to enjoy their free time separately, and Second, there are many conflicts because of different characteristic and interest. (마지막 마무리 문장 하나 더 작성해주세요)
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30) 1. 주장을 뒷받침하는 이유들을 좀 더 명료하고 간결하게 작성해주세요 2. 긴 문장을 작성하면서 문법 실수가 잦아지는 경우가 종종 있습니다. 필요 시 문장을 끊어서 작성해주세요. 3. 예시는 (예시 사건 --> 주제와 연관 --> 이유를 뒷받침) 하는 정도로 작성하는 것이 좋습니다. 현재 위 예시는 이유를 뒷받침하기에 내용은 적절하나 이유와는 무관한 내용들도 다소 포함되어 있습니다. 친구와 다투어 결국 우정에 금이 간 것이 초점이지 여행 당시 관심사에 대한 세부 설명은 크게 주장에 힘을 실어주지 않습니다. 같은 방을 썼지만 취미가 달라 우정을 만들기 어려운 것이 초점이지 다양한 관심사를 나열하는 부분 또한 크게 플러스로 작용하지 않습니다.
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