▶ Your Answer :
Some people think that high school students should enter in college right after graduating high school. However, in my opinion, it is better for students to take a year off before enrolling college since they need time to think their future, and having lots of experiences in young age increases the chance to succeed.
To begin with, taking a year off allows students to design their own dream. Most of the high school and college students are swamped with a lot of assignments and exams. As a result, they cannot spare time to think their dream. By spending a year for resting, however, students are able to create a blueprint their future. For example, one of the friends of mine did not enter in a college on purpose, and he decided to engaged himself in various part time jobs. During Having worked in different circumstances, he was able to think regarding what he wanted to do. Consequently, when he confronted the moment that he had to choose a major in a college, he decided to major in the fashion because he was convinced that he would be able to do well, designing clothes in the future, based on his experience from the period that he took.
On top of that, people who are relatively young experience a great number of things, and this leads them to be successful. People who are exposed to plenty of experiences are likely to know how to change the crisis into the opportunity as well as how to deal with troubles well, finding the right solutions. According to reports conducted by Cambridge University researched the people who achieved great success in the business field. The result has shown that the key to accomplishing success in their field was a large number of experiences that they had since they were young. Grounded on their experience, they were able to go through and resolve the problem with ease. Furthermore, the reports determined that this kind of success was found in various fields. - Success와의 연결고리에 있어서 gap year에 대한 언급이 부족합니다. gap year의 다양한 경험이 성공의 요인이 된다는 점을 지속적으로 언급해주세요. To sum up, sparing a year before entering college help students to set their own large goal for the future and can be a means of achieving success. In this regard, I strongly believe that students let themselves be free from the academic burden are helpful to students. Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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GOOD
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FAIR
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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