▶ Your Answer :
Opinions may^be divided over whether telephone has effected peoples' lives
more than TV. People of various ages and different walks may take diverse
positions on the controversial issue. We cannot deny the fact that a visualized
media plays a significant role in a modern society. Personally, therefore, I
agree that watching TV helps people to learn and motivatesd emotions of people.
To begin with, TV has a chief factor in the way that
people can learn something very easily. As diverse technologies have been
developed, TV led to an enlightenment of people. In the case of a telephone, it
can only enable us to talk with our friends has only a simple method having talks with friends nowadays. On the contrary,
TV can make people learn what they want to know; therefore, TV is the best
means to teach people. For instance, there is a poor country, Zimbabwe in
Africa. In the country, people they are not able to improve their infrastructure
concerning building schools since they lack money. Moreover, the worst thing is
that they could not teach children to become the great resources of the future.
However, the Government has decided to utilize TV media to teach children and
distributed televisions to each homes. The result was surprising; illiteracy
rate was drastically decreased. This demonstrates TV can give huge impact was functioned as a way of
education instead of schools.
On top of that, TV can use its visual aid to easily incite
others. To be specific, people can readily sympathize with and be easily
impressed by watching visual story delivered by television. For example, when I
was in a military service, I watched a UNICEF advertisement showing poor
African children. At the time, other colleagues and I sympathized to their
worst situations; they could not cannot gain any food, water, and clothes. So, all of the
members including executives have decided to sponsor them since we wanted them
to live in a better quality of life. If I have listened to the story via
telephone, would it have been be possible to support them? The answer would have been
'no'.
Taking helping people to learn something and stimulating stimulate
one's emotion into consideration, I firmly hold that TV has affected
people's lives more for the reasons that I mentioned above.
Good (24-25) 내용과 예시는 좋습니다. 문법 실수, 특히 과거/현재 시제 부분 실수가 많네요. 두번째 본문 if 로 시작하는 가정법에서 would를 쓸 경우 would it have p.p 로 써줘야 합니다. 과거완료 또한, 에세이에 질문이나 느낌표는 되도록 쓰지 않는것이 안전합니다. 꼭 필요하다고 생각되는 경우가 아닌 이상 그냥 평문장으로 써주세요. 수고하셨습니다~
|