▶ Your Answer :
Cooperation
is one of the most important characteristics nowadays. Regarding this issue,
there has been a controversy about whether these days, being able to work with
other people is more critical than it was before. Some people argue that the
ability of cooperation is less critical than the past. However, I believe that
being able to work with other people is more important that the past because
environmental issues need cooperation all over the world and many colleges begin
have begun to prefer the ability of cooperation
than each of individual's ability.
First
of all, current environmental problems need the cooperation of all the people.
In other words, In order to solve the problem of global warming, all of
the world have has to work together. I
would like to illustrate this with my observation. Global warming did not exist
in the past. However, the toll of global warming is evidenced across the glove
globe nowadays. Global warming has caused
natural disasters that have exacted an enormous toll on our health and economy.
The cause of global warming is are carbon
emissions from cars and power plants. In order to solve this problem, all the
people should work together. This problem cannot be solved by individuals.
However, past people people from the past did
do not have to work together like that because global warming did not
exist in the past. These notions attest that these days, the ability of
cooperation is more critical than the past.
Second,
current universities begin have begun
to want students who can work together with other people. To be specific,
although colleges did access accept students
with individuals' ability outstanding individual
abilities, they prefer the ability of cooperation from students.
According to the survey of Yonsei University, 82% of
professors interviewed responded that they prefer students who have
the ability of cooperation. In the survey, a professor said that since
cooperation is getting more important nowadays, universities also prefer
students who are able to work with other people than the past. Consequently,
being able to work together is more critical than it was before.
In
conclusion, nowadays, the ability of cooperation is more important than the
past. Not only do environmental problems need the cooperation of all the
people, but current universities also want students who have the ability of
cooperation. Although some people say that the ability of cooperation is less
important than the past, I strongly believe that these days, being able to work
with others is more critical than it was before.
Writing
0-30 Score Scale |
Good (24-30) |
Score |
27 |
Overall
Comment: |
잘 쓰셨습니다! 논리적으로 잘
설명하셨고 근거도 매우 탄탄합니다. 흐름도 매끄럽고요. 작은 문법 오류들 때문에 감점을 드렸습니다. 철자 오류도 조심하셔야 할 것 같아요.
(glove - globe) perfect tense 연습을 하시는 걸 추천드립니다. |
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