▶ Your Answer :
Undoubtedly, working with others plays a significant role
in people’s daily live in
many of places where they work or play. Some people think that being able to
work with other people in nowadays is more critical than it was before, while
others do not. Both sides may have their own reasons to support their views. If
I had to choose one I would say that working with other people is an important
part of these days. There are several reasons and examples as follows.
To begin with, working with others help people to learn
how to mingle well with people from different backgrounds. Nowadays Now days,
socializing well with other people is an essential thing. For example, last
year, my older sister had a new job. She is timid and passive so I was worried
about my sister. However, after few weeks later, she changed into an active and
positive person. She met many of coworkers who were the same age with my sister and also
some seniors in the work was really kind so she could easily get close with
other peoples.
On top of that, when people are being working with others,
people may came come up with the ideas that have been overlooked by others while
working. This means that people are likely to reduce the chances of making
mistakes. For instance, when my father was in an advertisement company, he
should submit a new projects to boss but
he didn’t know how to
make it. However, he asked to other coworkers who finished up project early and
he had some advice from senior coworkers. Therefore, my father had a good
result in his project.
All
things considered, I strongly believe that being able to work with other people
is more significant than it was before. Working with others helps people to understand how
to interact well with other coworkers or people and helps people to prevent
their mistakes thanks to other people’s advice while working. Had it not been
for the essay, I never could have had to consider this topic to prove its
point.
예상점수: 24-27 총평: 내용이나 구성 모두 잘 짜주신 글 같습니다. 다만 문법적인 오류가 많이 있네요. 시제를 특히 신경을 많이써서 글을 써주셔야 할 것 같습니다. 일부 어휘도 확인하실 필요가 있으실 것 같아요. 수고 많으셨습니다.
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