▶ Your Answer :
Undoubtedly, learning plays a significant role in children’s daily lives in many of places, where they study or play. Some people think that children should have art and music as mandatory school subjects along with math, history, science, and language, while others do not. Both sides may have their own reasons to support their views. If I had to choose one, I would say that having an art and music class are also important as math, history, science and language for children. There are several reasons and examples as follows. To begin with, learning a music and an art enables children to relax and recharger their batteries. When they are fully recharged by these subjects, they are likely to have more energies to put into studying other theoretical subjects and being active. For example, last year, my younger sister had a lot of stress about school work. Because, her school subjects were full of hardness class, so she was always had a was stressed about them. All of the students in school wanted to study other active subjects, so they required music and art class in school. Therefore, this year, the school added some subjects which the students were asked before. After the music and the art class started, my sister changed into another person. She enjoyed her school and she said to me, “When I go to school, I feel relax every they day. On top of that, music and art give children to experience something different from what they would do in their usual routine. A new experience tends to prevent them from boredom in life. For instance, when my father was in high school, he was bored with his daily life. His life was always same so he had no interested in his life. However, after he had an art class and music class he had a passion with learning something new and he found his dream. I think these class make made him change his mind in a positive way and to be a good person. All things considered, I strongly believe that to have an art and music as essential school subjects along with math, history, science, and language is necessary. Learning math and art can help children have a relaxation relax from other hard subjects and these subjects give some opportunities to experience something different. Had it not been for the essay, I never could have had to consider this topic to prove its point.
예상점수: 24-27 총평: 글을 구성있고 짜임새 있게 잘 쓰셨습니다. 내용도 훌륭하고 예시도 잘 주신 것 같아요. 다만 자잘한 문법적인 실수가 많아요. 또한 글을 조금 더 직접적으로 쓰시는 연습을 하셔야 할 것 같습니다. 수고 많으셨습니다. |