▶ Your Answer : In contemporary society, with the progress in computer and advance in internet technology, people are able to contact with more much more information. This has been put enormous effects on people's life in the manner of following two ways. Firstly, with increase in availability of information, it becomes possible for people to meet new friends unless they would be just strangers to them. and the increase in availability of information enables people to be awareness in of the reality of the world.
To begin with, increasing availability of information give people more chances to meet new friends. With social communication platform in internet such as facebook, twitter or instagram, It becomes possible to meet new people without much efforts. Just a simple one click in internet enables people to make relationship with othersand let them know how their new friends live like and what they talks about. For example, with access to facebook, we can get some information about new people we are not used to did not know. So i think that the increase in availability of information rise raises the possibility of knowing each other.
On the top of that, increasing availability of information encourages people to be awareness in of reality of the world in a more reasonable way. So many floating data and information in internet space provide some unpleasant news to people, which reflects our contemporary world's state. For example, people in today can easily contact with the news that telling people about dwindling fossil fuel and increasing global warming. as a result people become awareness in of the reality of the world more closely. So i believe that the increase in availability of information enable people to be aware of our world more.
To sum up, the increase in availability of information has enormous effects on people in two ways with enabling them to know other people more easily and making people to be aware of the world.
예상 점수: 24-27 총평: 글을 내용을 잘정리해주셨는데 awareness라는 단어 보다는 aware로 상황에 더 적합하게 써주시는 연습이 필요할 것 같아요. awareness라고 쓰신 곳 대부분은 동사가 적합한 곳이 많았습니다. 더불어서 대문자를 쓰셔야 할 곳에 대문자 사용을 해주시기 바랍니다. 수고 많으셨습니다.
|