▶ Your Answer :
Undoubtedly, transportation plays a significant role in people’s daily lives in many of places where they play or work. Some people might say that cars have made a greater impact on society than airplanes, while others do not think differently. Both sides may have their own reasons to support their ideas. If I were asked to choose one, I would say that the car’s influence on society is greater than airplanes. There are several reasons as follows.
To begin with, cars have brought a huge difference in our society than airplanes since they changed the environment significantly. Cars emit harmful gases which that contain carbon dioxide made from burning fossil fuels. This dangerous gas is the main reason for causing that causes the global warming due to a greenhouse effect. For instance, recently in the United States, Texas suffered unexpected massive flooding causing billions of dollars of damage and thousands of death. It was a rare phenomenon for a state known for its dry weather. Many experts are linking link this event to increase in CO2 which is mainly created by individual cars. It is based on the fact that the number of cars in America has been increased tremendously. Although the resource used for airplanes’ fuels is famous for its purity, the gases in cars ruin the nature. It is not exaggerating to say that cars are the key reason to change the weather pattern.
Second, cars have made a significant growth in nation’s economy than airplanes as they improved the standard of living. Cars have provided a variety of job sectors for the poor. These job opportunities tend to help people to find a job more easily and increase their household income. For example, while the airplane company usually provided job sectors that are related to highly advanced technologies which require job candidates who are well educated, car industry brought many job sectors related to ordinary people. To be more specific, my dad had a hard time to get a job when he was in the last year in high school because he was not well educated. He applied for a job at airplane company as a mechanic but he failed to get a job. On the contrary, he was able to find a job at a car manufactory company mainly coloring the surface of the car. While airplane company only offering a small number of job positions and looking for educated people, the car company provided various job positions for people and they became a new middle class in society.
All things considered, I strongly believe that the impact of cars far outweigh those of airplanes in society for the reasons I mentioned above. All in all, the importance of transit cannot be overestimated in life. Good: 24~30 점수: 26 잘 서술된 독립형 에세이입니다. 독립형 에세이에서 가장 중요한 부분을 차지하는 것은 본인의 에세이를 통하여서 상대방을 설득 할 수 잇냐 입니다. 지금 이 에세이는 이러한 부분에 있어서 아주 완벽하게 잘 서술하였습니다. 각 바디의 예시나 설명들이 이유를 구체적으로 잘 서포트 하고 있습니다. 이러한 부분을 통하여서 전반적으로 본인의 에세이의 방향성이 무엇인지를 정확하게 파악할 수 있었던 에세이였습니다. 수고많으셧습니다. |