▶ Your Answer : Some people firmly believe that, the young child has have to spend their time for helping for others. However, I believe that from my perspective becoming a person who try to become honest and being well organized person are the most important factors for them. [Choose only one] First of all, by being well organized, children are able to improve their cooperative spirit which is noteworthy characteristics for employing and interacting with others. For example, when my little brother was young, my mother made great effort to grow up his organizing skills through doing team projects and sports such as playing soccer and preparing presentation with their friends. When he fronted the big matters, he could overcome that with members and he became mature through the chance. He could learn not only cooperative spirit but also the ability to adapt at new environment. He has been the leader of the teams in the company at all the time and he led leaded his team members very well than any others. Also, he is not reluctant to adapt at new environment rather he pioneers his field. It means that he was does not afraid about new things and he tend to enjoyed the situation. This is why, he did interaction with others by doing something together and his experiences was fluent than others thanks to his past activities. [Awkward sentence] By the virtue of his skills, he got good score at the employment interview which needed those specific qualification for composing team working. Secondly, becoming a reliable person is beneficial for children because it is take it for granted saying their truth to someone. [What does it mean?] There is a possibility that, the child who is lacks of honesty becomes a trouble maker in the future due to wrong judgment. For example, when my friend Lee was young she usually deceived her mom to get more allowance which was need for satisfy her interests such as sweet chocolate and a pretty pen. She could not control her bad behavior this is because she was addicted to lie and she became familiar with speaking false things to get what she wanted. That was one of her worst habits and that has been prolonged even though she is a high school student. Plus, she pull the wool over teacher’s eyes to skip her class and stole steal some money from friends. She does not know her faults and she already spend her time and money for enjoying a fast life. Even though, when she committed crime and was taken in the police she did not say truth. If her behavior was changed at young, she would be not the person who make juvenile delinquency.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 3 | Score | Fair 16-19 | - 글으 흐름이 좋고 연관성이 높은 편이나, 문장 오류가 대체적으로 많이 보이는 편이며 결론이 누락되어 있습니다.
- 과거형의 사용이 다소 미숙한 편입니다. - the most라는 말은 하나의 의견을 고르라는 내용이었는데, writer는 2개의 choices 를 pick하셨어요. 이 때문에, off topic이 될 가능성이 높을 수 있습니다.
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