▶ Your Answer :
It is arguable whether people have to put on money on for advertising. It is an interesting question because options concerning this can be different according to individual perspectives. From my point of view, I believe that people should put much more money in advertisement on account of two reason; attracting lots of people at a time and the ad's exposures through various mass media. First of all, the most imperative reason for my opinion is that a good advertisement inspires people to memorize easily than others. In other word, most customers purchase some products after watching ads. (Better to mention "they are subjected to that") And, most advertisements are conveyed have limited timeto represent for customers with a simple or implicit message in a comparably short time. If they invested money for that, they would be likely to make a unforgettable commercial video to encourage customers to buy more. The customers are willing to buy more impressed goods and it would be make the company succeed. For instance, there was a company which is middle-sized enterprise. They started coming up with distinct ads including rather than others. They finally discovered a catchy song and colorful video. It wasreminded to people of thinking of that product immediately. In turn, they have earned countless money with only a good ad. Another reason for my argument is that the advent of internet grants people to be exposed to commercial ads more. Nowadays, people exploit the developed technology such as cell phones and TVs. Showing various ads for people by these media, people can compare several products using the ads. Thus, the ads have become the necessary factor of attracting people. (Hard to get the meaning) To For beingsucceed in the field of business, people should make an ideal ad which is essential to company with a lot of money. To be more specific, a study has been shown that how much companies spend money for ad. The 76% of them preferred to detect some unique ads. And the 56% of them answered that they spent spend more money for making a new item. in this case, the study reveals was revealed that contemporary company are thinking of finding better ads. (Awkward meaning) All things considered, it is my assertion that I strongly support with this statement which people should focus on the advertisement with more financial investments for achieving success.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 3 | Score | Fair 15-18 | - 첫 번째 이유에서, 많은 사람들이 광고를 보고 산다는 단정적인 주장보다는 광고에 쉽게 영향을 많이 받는다는 관점이 더 자연스럽고 설들력이 있을 수 있을 것 같아요.
- 에세이에 수동태가 많이 포함되어 있는 것이 좋은 구성이라 말할 수 없으나, 이치에 맞게 쓰신다면 괜찮습니다. 다만 위의 에세이에서는 능동태로 쓰여야할 부분들이 전부 수동태로 쓰였기 때문에 어법상으로도 틀린 부분으로 볼 수 있겠습니다.
|
|