■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic :Electric cars will soon replaces conventional automobiles |
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Some people probably think that adoption adoptation of electric cars will be
quite delayed. However, in my opinion, electric cars will soon replace
conventional automobiles for two reasons. First, they are positively encouraged
by government due to the benefits for environment.
Second, they are more convenient compared to the previous
normal automobiles.
To begin with, electric
cars do not don't use oil, so they are
eco-friendly. This could be an significant advantage for our present society that is
suffering from severe air pollution every^day. Government
has tried to solve this problem, but it is hard to deal with a wide range of
pollution over the country. Using electric cars assuredly reduces air
pollution. According to a study by the ministry of environment, the amount of
emitted carbon dioxide from the national roads will be cut off by half if the
two-thirds of present automobiles are replaced by electric cars. Once the
replacement of overall conventional automobiles is achieved, we do not need to
put on masks when we commute every morning anymore.
On top of that, electric cars are more
convenient compared to conventional automobiles. They are less noisy and safe,
so they are good for family having babies and children. In addition, it will be
more convenient because they are equipped with various cutting
edge latest technologies such as auto-driving. For instance, my
uncle who is working at an automobile company,
drives an electric car. When I took his car, it went smoothly and controlled
the speed by itself. It seemed that he was not stressful to drive at all.
To sum up, electric cars
are beneficial for environment and more convenient. In this regard, I believe
that most people will take electric cars instead of conventional automobiles in
near future.
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Fair(21-22)
글자 수 300자 미만입니다. 미니멈 글자 수 채우지 않으시면 감점됩니다.
서론
-adaptation 혹은 adoption 입니다. 문맥상 적응이 아니라 차용/도입 의 뜻이므로 adoption을 써주세요.
-철자 오류. government
-normal automobiles 는 모호합니다. previous 혹은 gas automobiles로 써주세요.
첫번째 본문
-철자 오류.electric
-축약형 지양해주세요. don't-->do not
-뒤 단어 첫글자 소리가 자음이므로 an-->a
-every day 띄어씁니다.
-철자 오류. government
-내용 괜찮습니다.
두번째 본문
-latest 보다는 cutting edge, state-of-the-art 등의 좀더 어려운 어휘 써주세요.
-좀더 설명이 추가되면 좋습니다. auto-driving의 장점과 그것이 현재의 차들보다 나은 이유들을 더 구체적으로 써주세요. 또한, 가족과 안전에 왜 더 좋은지 더 구체적으로 서술하시면 설득력이 올라갑니다.
수고하셨습니다~~