▶ Your Answer :
Opinions maybe
divided over whether fewer cars will exist than there are today in twenty
years. People of various ages and different walks of life may take diverse
positions on this controversial issue. We cannot deny the fact that the
development of transportation and the better quality of life play an important
role in our lives. Personally, therefore, I agree that we will
use less cars in twenty years than we use cars today.
To begin with, we
will not feel the need to take our cars because of the development of public
transportation. If the transportations such as the second-floor bus and the
subway accommodate a substantial amount of people, we do not have to take our
cars on roads. I read an editorial that can support my argument. According to the Dong-A Daily News that is related to the topic, It describes
the survey was conducted by 500 researchers from HanYang National University traffic research center.
According to their researches, the quantity of public transportation has increased
five times more for the past ten years in Seoul. They went on to say that all of citizen in Seoul will be able to go their
workplaces by the bus and the subway without their cars if this trend continue to happen in twenty years. This clearly shows
that the development of public transportation decreases a number of cars on
roads.
Second, the tendency in the employment market allowing workers to work at home can bring less uses of cars. Nowadays, a lot of employees
prefer working in their home to work at workplace. Therefore, many
large-size companies have permitted workers doing their tasks at home. In other words, they no longer go to the companies because of their work
and do decrease the possibility to use their cars. A survey conducted by Seoul
National University social science researchers with more than 200 random
employees in Seoul proves my point of view. 60 percent of people answered that
they like doing their works at home rather than at working places because it
increases the quality of their lives. 30 percent of people said that their
companies enabled workers to work at their home, and this policy brought about a
better quality of life for them in terms of time management. This is because Workers who worked at home did not have to suffer from severe
traffic jam in the morning. This clearly proves that most of the companies will permit this policy, and the use of cars will excessively
decrease.
- in/at 사용 주의해주세요.
As mentioned above,
based on (예시가 아닌 본인의 이유를 요약해주세요) the surveys conducted by Seoul National University social science
researchers and HanYang National University researchers, I can conclude that we
may use our cars less frequently in twenty years than we use today.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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GOOD
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GOOD
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FAIR
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FAIR
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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- 주제에 대한 각 이유 제시 + 예시 제시가 뚜렷하나 해당 예시를 elaborate하는 과정에서 문법 실수가 일부 보입니다. - 결론 부분에서 작성자 본인의 이유 2가지를 요약하여 소개해주세요 (예시 나열이 아닌)
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