▶ Your Answer :
It is debatable whether people should select a job in the same field as their parents than to choose a different career for themselves. (주제문장 그대로 사용하는 것을 지양하고 paraphrase해 주세요.) This is an intriguing question because opinions concerning this issue can be different relying on the individual perspectives. In my opinion, I support that people have to seek for their dream by themselves instead of simply following what their parents did.
To begin with, people are more satisfied with their (people - their) career if they pursue their own dreams. There is only a way to enhance your self-confidence for a job when you become an independent person of your parents. For example, my uncle is a doctor for the past twenty years. His parents pushed my uncle to take over the family business, real estate, when he was a high school student. However, he could not accept their wish because he was dreaming of helping out people who cannot afford to go to hospital. There was a big conflict between them, but, my uncle was able to decide his career by himself in the end. He is very satisfied with his job now as well as his parents.
In addition, it is better to think of the possibility of different kinds of works in order to figure out what he or she really wants to do in the future. This is because People who are experienced in various fields of work are more knowledgeable about themselves. For instance, my uncle, a doctor mentioned above, and my cousin went to medical school. like his father did. My cousin has always admired his father’s occupation since he was very young and has dreamt of being involved in the same field as his father. But, as time went on, he regreted that he has never thought of other possibilities for his future career when he realized that he is not sure whether he wants to be a doctor. Recently, he feels like he has not been an independent person from his father and now is questioning himself what he likes to become from bottom of his heart.
To sum up, people will grow up and know themselves better when they pursue their dreams, not follow their parents’ career. All things considered, because of ~ (주장에 대한 본인이유 요약) it is my belief that my argument regarding this topic has been effectively and precisely delivered with the reasons mentioned above. I believe that ~ (본인의 주장을 다시 한 번 제시해주세요)
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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GOOD
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GOOD
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FAIR
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GOOD
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FAIR
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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