▶ Your Answer :
There might be some people
who believe that a person will be more informative if he or she gets
information from various news sources only a piece of news. However, I personally agree with
above idea for two subsequent reasons. First, many different news sources
provide a person various point of views. Second, many kinds of news have a person
understand sometimes cover parts that the reader is not interested in.
To begin with, a person can see something in different angles when he or she receives news from different sources. This means, In other
words, when those who get many sources of news understand an issue, they are
able to consider the topic in social aspect, economic aspect, cultural aspect and so
on. According to study done by Human Resources Institute of USA, getting many
different news sources is more efficient for people than using a single source to be informed. than a news source for people to widen
views. That is why discussion class is also useful for students. In
discussion, students can experience varying viewpoints from others that they have
never thought before. Therefore, a person can improve his or her intelligence
as they have lots of different news. --> debate/discussion의 중요성과 현재 문단의 연관성이 전혀 없는데 등장 --> 이유 support하는 예시/통계자료 없음
On top of that, eclectic news makes people have
knowledge equally all over the area. It is natural that some people are
interested in certain field and the other people are not. Thus, people normally
tend to get information only in the areas that they feel interested in. However, it is needless to
say that partial information gives us prejudiced knowledge (부분적인 정보가 편견을 낳는다는 내용이 주제에 대한 본인의 입장을 support하는 지 아닌지 꼭 체크해주세요) et me bring up my
personal experience as an example. (Let은 구어체이므로 essay에서 사용을 지양해주세요.) For example, when I was young, my mother subscribed books that were delivered every week for me. I could not choose types of book, so I
could not do anything but read books every week regardless of my preference. It helped me know
a lot of common sense so that I won the prize of quiz show. Hence, a person can
be more erudite when they get various types of news.
- 본 예시가 문단 내 이유를 support한다고 보기엔 주제/이유와의 연결고리가 약합니다. 퀴즈쇼에서 우승한 것이 중요 포인트가 아닌 다양한 관점을 배우는 것이 포인트임을 숙지해주세요.
To
sum up, different sources of news are helpful to be informative because they
can broaden views and make people erudite all over the field. In this regard, a
person must get information from many different news sources in order to be
well-informed.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
|
ORGANIZATION
|
PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
|
LANGUAGE USE
|
GRAMMAR
|
FAIR
|
LIMITED
|
LIMITED
|
FAIR
|
FAIR
|
각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
|
|