▶ Your Answer : reviews from friends. 1. believable opinion. receive help - can ask his experience. - ex) 친구의 말을 듣고 컴퓨터를 새로 샀음. 확실히 성능이 좋았고, 친구의 말을 신뢰 할 수 가 있었음. 그러던 어느날 컴퓨터가 고장났는데, 어떻게 할 줄 몰랐음 그래서 친구한테 물어봄. 해결함.
2. no advertisement. - some companies give their products to magazine, celebrities, even in online communities to promote - friends -> 기업에서 친구에게 돈을 주고 광고 해달라고 하지는 않음. -> 객관적으로 의견을 들을 수 있음
- e) magazine에서 강추하는 책상을 삼, 내구성이 튼튼하고, 가격이 싸다고 했음. 그러나, 가격은 쌌지만, 생각보다 내구성이 튼튼하지 않아, 모르고 책상위에 앉았는데 책상 다리가 부러짐. 속음. not effect - 163
When we should make a decision to purchase something, there are plenty of factors that affect our choices. In my opinion, recommendation from friends is the most reliable sources to influence our buying. I feel this way for two reasons.
First, friends' opinions are trustful and can provide advices when we get in troubles. Friends will leave comments of products after they used those products,. and give some help when we can't decide what to choose. My own experience is a compelling example of this. 3 years ago, I bought a computer after I had listened to my friend's advice. In reality, the performances of my computer was is great. There was is no buffering to play a game. But, one day, my computer suddenly shut down out and couldn't power on. I asked my friend how to solve it,. and he taught me. And finally I fixed it.
Secondly, friend's recommendation is not affected by advertisements. We knows that some companies give their products to magazines, celebrities, even in online communities for commercial promotion. Iit makes our selection more difficult because of products would be commented as good.^For instance, I saw a table on a the magazines. Tthey said that it is one of the best products in quality and prices. I just believed what is written on the magazines,. and I bought it. However, I found that its durability is poor. When I accidentally sit down on a table, a table was broken in two pieces.
To sum up, friend's comments are the best considerations when we buy things because they are trustworthy and not having a an advertisement.
Fair (17-23)
글자 수 300 넘겨주세요. brainstorming 부분 제외한 실제 에세이 부분이 300자가 넘지 않네요.
문장들이 너무 단조롭습니다. 짧은 문장 두개를 and 같은 걸로 이으는 연습하시면서 한 문장의 길이를 늘려주세요.
첫번째 본문에서 친구의 도움으로 컴퓨터를 고치는 내용은 불필요합니다. 친구 덕분에 좋은 컴퓨터를 사고 a/s가 잘되는 컴퓨터를 구입할 수 있었다/ 혹은 친구는 나의 사정을 잘 알아서 나에게 더 적합한것을 구입했다 는 식으로, 좀더 친구가 줄 수 있는 도움에 포인트를 주세요.
두번째 본문에서, 잡지에서 본 광고때문에 안 좋은 기억과, 그와 대조해서 친구의 추천은 왜 월등히 좋은지 설명해주시면 글의 설득력이 더 올라갑니다.
과거/현재 시제에 따른 동사 변화 유의해주세요. 문장 처음에는 대문자 꼭 지켜주세요.
수고하셨습니다~ |