▶ Your Answer :
Some people might say that life is harder than when our
grandparents were young. However, I strongly believe that nowadays life is much
easier than in the past. This is because traveling is more comfortable than in
the past, and the development of the internet is helping people a lot.
Firstly, people can go wherever they want to very easily. To
be specific, going to other countries to travel was very hard in the past, and
people needed to spend a lot of money to buy the ticket for transportations connecting different countries. Also, if people wanted
to go different continents, they needed to endure enormously long time to arrive at other countries since they needed to use ships to go there. However, people
these days can get much cheaper tickets to travel compared to the past, and the
airplane needs much less time to travel to a different continent than ships. For
example, when my grandparents were young, they could not go other countries
readily since the tickets were too expensive to buy, and the travel journey required a very
long time to go to other countries. However, I do not have to worry about the airplane fees and travel
time anymore because of the development of a transportation technology.
Secondly, unlike the people in the past, people can
use the internet nowadays. If people in the past wanted to buy some items, they needed
to go a long distance to get the market and also they needed to know how to get
there. However, since the development of the internet is invented, people do not have to
suffer from such things. If people want to go to market, they can easily use the
navigation to find the way instead of memorizing all of the maps. Not only
this, if people do not want to go out, they can just order the items on
internet shopping mall. For instance, I am a lazy person, so I hate to memorize
the map and to go out in order to merely get to market. However, because of the
internet, I do not have to do such troublesome things. I can just order food by
using internet shopping mall and can find the way to go market
readily by using the internet.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that the lives people live now is much
easier than the life in the past. This is because people can go travel very
easily and the the internet is helping people very effectively. Therefore ~ 주장을 다시 한 번 더 요약하며 마무리해주세요.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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FAIR
|
FAIR
|
FAIR
|
FAIR
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GOOD
|
각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
|
- 인터넷은 '통신 기술 (communication technology)' 및 물류기술의 발전 중 일부인 예시로 사용하는 것이 좋습니다. 인터넷만을 이유로 들기에는 다소 협소한 주장입니다. - in/at 사용 주의해주시고 기타 문장에서 꼭 명시해야 할 부분을 놓치지 않았는지 확인해주세요. |