▶ Your Answer :
There
might be some people who believe that university students should be required to
take at least one class that teaches the culture of a country other than their
own. However, in my opinion, university students should not take a class about
other cultures. First, students are too busy to take a other culture
class about another country. Second, it is
better to take their own country's culture class.
To
begin with, nowadays, students have to do a lot
of things to get a job. It is time consuming if they have to take a class of other another culture. Skeptics of my main line of argument
may argue that this reason does not a reasonable position at first sight.
Nevertheless, to their dismay, there exists an abundance of examples that
substantiate my claim. Here is one of them; (두 문장을 semicolon을 이용해서 이어주는 게 더 자연스럽습니다.) when I was a college
student, I led a hectic lifestyle. This was because of
the intense job competition. I had to participate in an internship program, and to get job
certificates. Developing the ability to speak a foreign
language is vital. Students who did all of them eventually got a job. However, students
who concentrated on taking a class about other cultures
rather than preparing for job competition did
not get a job because they spent most of their time studying
other cultures. This clearly shows that taking other culture classes is not
suitable for university students.
On
top of that, knowing their own culture well should come before taking other
culture classes. This is because if they do not understand their culture
enough, it is evident that they will not understand others’ cultures as well.
The representative case that I narrated above is not the only evidence to
support my view. In a study conducted recently, a significant majority of
survey participants (survey를 누구 대상으로 했는지 명시해 주세요) endorsed my point of view
that students should not take a class of about
other cultures. One college student said in the survey that she was disappointed that when
she took the western culture class because she got a
grade of C grade from the class. She added that when she was in
the class, she could not understand everything on the class. (아무것도 이해를 못했다는 말인가요? 공부를 제대로 안한 학생의 문제이거나, 교수가 잘 못 가르쳐서 그럴 수도 있으니 더 설명이 필요한 부분입니다) One university professor also said that students have to
understand well on the their own culture before they take a class of about other cultures becuase
because professors assume that they have
sufficient knowledge about their own culture. This makes clear that university
students should not be required to take a class of about other cultures.
In conclusion, there
are more disadvantages of requiring a class of other cultures for students. For
these reasons, I strongly believe that it is a bad idea that students should be
forced to take an other culture class a class
about other cultures.
Writing
0-30 Score Scale |
Limited (0-16) |
Score |
16 |
Overall
Comment: |
글의 포인트를 잘 잡아주셨고,
흐름도 괜찮습니다. 다만 문법적인 오류가 많으니 위 지적사항들을 참고해 주시길 바랍니다. 기본적인 문법 오류들 (전치사, of /
about 차이 등등) 및 철자 오류도 잦으셔서 감점을 많이 드렸습니다. 또한 논리적으로 근거를 더 설명해 주시면 좋을 것 같아요. |
|
|