▶ Your Answer : Friends play a significant role in people's daily lives in many of the places where they work or play. Some people think that being friends with someone who have has a lot of things in common with them is more beneficial, while others do not. Both sides may have their own reasons to support their their ideas (불필요한 내용입니다). If I were asked to choose one, I would say that it is more recommendable to make friends with those who are different from you. There are several reasons as follows. >스페이싱 넣어주세요 To begin with, people can broaden their views and have a better understanding of other people by having a relationship with those who are different from them. When people meet someone who have different experiences and thoughts, they can share this theseexperiences, debate about their thoughts and finally understand each other. This will widen people's perspectives because they can find out that different values that exist in the society. For example, when I was in elementary school, I was shocked to see one of my Indian classmates eating his meal by with bare hands. It was the first time I saw someone eating 쟈without not using a spoon or chopsticks. However, after we became friends, I learned about culture of Indian culture and understood that even eating habits can be different by countries. This experience led me to understand people from other cultures with an open mind. >스페이싱 넣어주세요 On top of that, people can easily relieve their stress by hanging around with friends with different backgrounds. If people play with such friends those who are different from them, they are able to experience some new leisure programms. Having a new experience can refresh people and provide new energy by decreasing the stress from work. Experiencing new things can energize people as they help to reduce work stress. For instance, I usually read books or chatted chat with my friends during spare time in my leisure. It was habitual, so sometimes I was bored by the same pattern (어색한 표현입니다). However, after I got to know some friends who enjoyed extreme sports, I began to enjoy scuba diving with them. It was a thrilling experience to dive deep into the sea and see beautiful scenery sceanaries. Whenever I was stressed out, I gathered with these friends and tried various sports. As a result, I could manage my maintain good mental health. >스페이싱 넣어주세요 To sum up, I prefer to hang around with people with different backgrounds because I can understand others better and relieve my stress. In this regard, I strongly insist that having friends who are different from you benefits more is more beneficial than having those who are similar to you.
Score: Limited (1-16), Fair (17-23), Good (24–30) Comments: - 문법 실수들이 있습니다. - 어색한 표현들이 있습니다. - 단락 사이에 엔터로 스페이싱을 넣어주시거나 들여쓰기를 꼭 해주세요. - 제시하신 이유와 예시는 모두 적절합니다. 몇가지 표현들과 문법에 조금 더 신경써주세요. 수고하셨습니다. |