▶ Your Answer :
We depend on both home and school for our education. However, the role of the home is still more dominant than that of the school. There are three reasons which lead me to believe like this; the first is that the home schooling is base of the regular courses and the second is that home can teach things which cannot be obtained at the school. Also, the attachment with the parents is much stronger than that of the teacher.
First, as you know, the building needs a foundation before it starts to be built. The education is the same thing. This means that the home education is the foundation of the school education. If children do not receive the proper education at their home, they will have many difficulties in school. For example, there are many studies that children who had been abused by the parents showed the bad performance on the grade and unhealthy social relationship in school. On the contrary, the children having strong bond with their parents showed better scores and moderate personality. This studies indicates that without home, it is impossible for the school to do adequate role.
(This shows that, This means that 등 This를 포함한 형태의 문장이 불필요하게 반복됩니다)
Second, there are many things that cannot be taught by regular school education. Many great people in human history were dropped out of their school or even could not afford to get public school education. For instance, Thomas Alva Edison was failed at the elementary school. However, his uncle never gave up on him. He supported his nephew and helped his study. Finally, Edison founded GE and became one of the respected people in the world. School may teach how to solve an equation or how history have gone, but school will never be able to teach how to find one's dream and passion to make own way.
Lastly, children is more closer to the parents than the teachers. This means that the parents can influence the children more directly than the teachers do. Parents always want to help their children heartily. As an illustration, children can confess their problems and thoughts to the parents more easily than to the teacher. Also, the parents take their children's opinions and thoughts seriously and patiently without any consideration. On the other hand, it is just the part of the teacher's work to listen and monitor the children whether or not they have any troubles. If there are not enough monetary remuneration, teachers would complain. However, parents do not complain for listening to their children's opinion. Parents never hesitate to spend their time with their children and to give the children advises.
In conclusion, we should put more weight to the home schooling than the regular schooling for the education of our children. All things being equal, there is no use of the school without the home, and home can give the more precious things (things가 어떤 것인지 적어주세요.) in the children's life which cannot be obtained at the school. Finally, the friendly relationship with the parents makes significance of the home schooling more powerful than that of the regular schooling. So with these reasons, I think that the home is more important than the school for education of our children.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
|
ORGANIZATION
|
PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
|
LANGUAGE USE
|
GRAMMAR
|
FAIR
|
FAIR
|
FAIR
|
FAIR
|
FAIR
|
각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
|
- 본인의 주장을 펼치는 것 외에 생각을 뒷받침하는 실제 사례/통계 등을 적극적으로 활용할 수 있어야 합니다. - can not --> cannot 입니다. - things, they등 모호한 표현을 지나치게 많이 사용하지 않게 주의해주세요. |