▶ Your Answer :
As the society gets more complex, education system requires students to take various classes. However, current education system put more emphasis on the importance of has been focused on teaching math, science and language to students. There is controversial between whether students should have mandatory ,overlooking advantage of taking art and music classes. I strongly think that students should take art and music classes because those classes promote students to think creatively as well as relieving and relieve the stress from other classes. First of all, children can develop creativity when they are taking art and music classes. Children can freely express their feeling while playing music or drawing paintings. (How?) It is good for the brain development. Certain part of the human's brain becomes active while learning art and music, and this stimulated part is different from the area that is activated when studying math and sciences. (Mention source of this experiment) Therefore, in terms of the developmental perspective, taking art and music classes have a positive influence on the brain. Without taking art and music, the consequence can be detrimental, which includes the improper social behavior, and abnormal personalities.(Bit awkward)
Second, children relieve their stress by taking music and art classes. As music and art classes tend to be focus on practice and heavy on projects and activities rather than the exams and lectures, thus, children can learn practical about the material and practice by engaging in first-hand experience (Such as?). For instance, I personally enjoyed my music and art classes since I could learn get to experiment with various techniques. It was not the original lecture class where which students have to sit in and listen to the lecture for a long period of time without engaging in any sort of activity. In addition to that, I got to take my mind off of rather complicated subject such as science and math. (What does it mean?)
Finally, some people might argue that art and music might not be essential when it comes to getting a good job, however, I strongly believe think that children with creativity and no stress are more important than finding a high paying job.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 2 | Score | Limited 16-18 | - 구체적인 예제와 근거를 서술해주셔야 합니다. - 의미가 불분명한 문장들은 정확한 문법과 표현으로 재수정해주셔야 합니다.
|
|