Some people think that lying sometimes is better for their relationships with other people. This is because some kinds of truth can make other people feel bad and this would hurt their relationships. However, I believe that always saying the truth is the best way for building good relationships for two reasons.
Firstly, telling the truth in evey all the time is related to one's reliability in the long-term. Lying can be revealed someday in an unexpected way. (어떤 unexpected way? 설명을 좀 해주세요.) Even though a (주어가 필요합니다.) was a white lie for other people, they would not trust he/she he or she if this revelation repeats. This is not good for building sound relationships between people. According to the report from the Seoul National universty University in 2014, people doing telling a lot of lies including white lies have worse relationships between with other people around them than people with who tell less lies do. Since building reliability is very important (이 문단의 포인트는 이 점을 논리적으로 설명했어야 합니다. 그게 왜 중요한건지가 설명이 잘 안됩니다.) for making a good relationship, it is good to always tell the truth.
In addition, telling the truth helps to improve some points even if that truth is bad or not pleasing. Some people tell white lies because they think the truth would make other people feel depressed or angry. But, However, although telling the truth could be unpleasant or uncomfortable for listeners, it would be helpful for facing or improving their weaknesses or bad habits. For example, my sister had some bad table manners such as chewing loudly and dropping some food frequently. Other family members didn't did not want to tell her that because she was very delicate and sentimental. But, However, after considering it, I told her that it would be better to improve her table manners. She was embarrassed and depressed at first, but she fixed it. After that, she thanked me for informing that. Like this, telling the truth can give an opportunity to improve some points.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that telling the truth is the best way for building good relationships. This is because it is related to one's reliability in the long-term and it helps to improve and fix some weaknesses or bad habits.
Writing 0-30 scale
Fair (21-24)
각 point를 설명하는 논리가 부족한 부분이 있습니다.
문장을 And, But으로 시작하지 마세요.
오타도 많고 대소문자 오류도 많습니다. 문장에 주어가 없는 경우도 있습니다. 글을 쓰고 나면 다시 읽고 수정할 시간을 반드시 확보하세요.