▶ Your Answer :
Some
people think that parents are not the best teachers. (왜 그 사람들이 부모님이 가장 좋은 선생님들이 아니라고 생각하는 지 예시를 하나 짧게 주세요) However, in my opinion, parents are the best teachers in
our life. This is because we can learn how to regard fellow classmates, sisters siblings,
and even parents. In addition, we can learn social skills. (문장을 작성하실 때마다 enter을 누르시는 습관이 있으신 것 같은데, 흐름을 위해서는 한 문단으로 이어 써주시는 게 좋아요.)
To
begin with, people can acquire from their parents how to care about other
persons.
Parents's
(parents’가 옳습니다.) advice given to how we fixed our actions and we think
that action that is correspondingly circumstances. (문장에 문법 오류가 너무 많습니다. ‘Parents often give advice on how we should fix our actions; and we
apply these in corresponding circumstances.) For
example, when I was young I had a fight with my
friend. After I came back home, I told my parents about
the fight for today's event. My parents carefully heard listened to me attentively and comforted me. (hear / listen 에는 차이가 있어요) Later on, when my mode (mode?
기분 말씀하시는거죠?) mood lightened up, is
good , and my parents told me. "we understand you but you
should think about your sentence words and
actions that may affect your friend's emotions".
I think thought about my the words before
that I told said
to (said/told도 차이가 있어요.) my
friend. I realized deficient consideration I
realized that I wasn’t considerate of his feelings. In Through this event, I would more carefully think
learned to think more carefully about my sentences
words and actions and I learned how to be considerate. consideration .
One
top of that, children can learn social skills to
correctly adapt in society.
Children
absorb toddle, language, calculation, and talking to other person every little thing from their parents, such as toddling, language skills, calculating skills and
interactive skills.
Evidence
for this comes from a study by a child development
department of education. According to one of
their studies, more than 80 percent of students surveyed reported that they
attained more social functions from their parents
rather than from their school teachers. Similarly, the study
reported that students generally more tend to hang out with friends
who were taught lessons by their parents. parents
teach their children. Based on this study, people will learn more as well
as be more sociable if regarded from taught by parents.
To sum
up, people can learn consideration to be
considerate and acquire social skills
from parents.
For these reasons, I think parents are
the best teachers in the world.
Writing
0-30 Score Scale |
Limited (0-16) |
Score |
4 |
Overall
Comment: |
기본적인 문법 연습이 매우
필요하세요. 위 지적사항들을 참고해 주세요. 문법 오류가 너무나도 많아서 글의 요지를 파악하기에 어려움이 있었습니다. 기죽지 마시고 더
꾸준히 연습하시면 실력이 늘을 거에요. |
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