▶ Your Answer :
There are some people who believe that taking class on campus is
better than attending classes online. However, I disagree with the above idea
for the subsequent reasons since online classes are more efficient, and actual offline classes have a disadvantage (어떤 단점인지 간략히 명시해주세요)
First of all, distant learning is more efficient
than taking classes on campus because people can save time.
Specifically, busy people such as workers do not have a lot of time commuting to
school to take classes. However, online classes are effective because people
can take lectures no matter where they are at and have lectures during their
free time. For example, in a company, a person can listen to classes during his or her lunch
break. Also, they can take lectures on the weekends; all they would need
is just a laptop or a computer. They use their free time useful by focusing on
classes anywhere on the weekends, like at a café or a library. I personally
think this is the very utmost advantage that they can use their time
efficiently while pursuing degree plans.
On top of that, offline lectures have a serious downside.
They require students to present at schools each day, which is very energy-consuming. Often, a friend of mine who goes to school daily complains his/her (실제 사례이므로 성별 1개 골라서 작성해주세요) struggles. Especially a person who lives far away from campus spends a lot of
times and energy to go to school. Thus, this cause problem in consuming so much
length of time on commuting that the person often sleeps in class or even does
not attend in lecture because of tiredness.
--> 시간적으로 advantage가 있다는 내용이 먼저 제시되었으면 이후에는 비용 절감/필요할 때 집중 가능 등 온라인 강의의 장점 중 하나를 다른 이유로 부각하는 것이 설득력있는 글을 쓰는 데 더 + 입니다.
In conclusion, I think online classes do not only
provide efficiency in time but also prevent people from wasting their vigor on minor
factors. In this regard, I firmly believe that taking distant lectures are
better than taking classes on campus.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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FAIR
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FAIR
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FAIR
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FAIR
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FAIR
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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