▶ Your Answer :
Is it always good to move to a new city or
country? Some people think that this is a great idea even if they will lose
their old friends, while others do not moving to a new city is preferable idea even if people lose old friends, while other people think differently. If I were asked, I would say transfering
to a new place at the expensive of losing old friends is not a good idea contend it is not a good choice to move to a new city. There
are several reasons and examples as follows.
First, moving to a new environment alone may
cause an overall decrease in happiness in people’s lives. Humans are considered
social animals, which means we always need a company to communicate with us and
support us. in which communicating with others is essentially needed. In particularly, humans tend to become anxious when facing a new
environment or challenges, requiring more emotional support which requires emotional support. However, when they
do not have any close friends in this situation, it is likely that their
emotional stability becomes weaken brings about the weakening of emotional stability, thus diminishing their happiness. For example,
my younger sister had to move to another state because of her college. She did
not have anyone to hang out and she suffered from loneliness and a feeling of
meaninglessness. She stressed out and had to drop out of the school because she
could not adopt there. If she remained in my city and kept in touch with her
old friends, she would not have failed her school.
Seond, changing a dwelling to a new place without
any friends might negatively affect their work performance. Living in your
hometown with your one's hometown with one's old friends have a great merit, such as a broad social
network accumulated for a long time. These friends are not only helpful in our daily
life but also in a working environment in many ways. For example, they give you people a good advice and useful information, such as good opportunities, practical
skils skills, and useful tips. For instance, in my case, I was having a difficult time
at work when I first started my job as a lawyer because I was not familiar with
the job. At that time, some of my friends who are lawyer and work with lawyers
provided me great advice and some tricks about how to handle fast-changing
situation in this field. Their kind tips and favor greatly helped me to
overcome hardships and now I have become one of the most popular lawyers in
this area. Without my old friends, it would have been very difficult to manage
the situation and achieve success.
All things considred, considered I strongly believe
that the advantages of having old friends in a familiar place far outweigh the
advantages of losing them by moving to a new place for those reasons I have mentioned above. In this regard, the
importance of maintaining good friendship cannot be overestimated. Good: 24~30 점수: 24 문법적인 부분에 있어서 약간의 오류가 있습니다. 특히 독립형 에세이를 서술할 때에 you를 사용하시면 안됩니다. 이인칭 주어를 서술하는 것 보다는 삼인칭 주어를 사용하는게 좋습니다 이러한 것을 유의 하시면서 서술하시길 바랍니다. 이러한 부분 이외에는 크게 문제가 없어 보이는 에세이입니다. 독립형 에세이에서 가장 중요한 부분을 차지하는 것은 본인의 에세이를 통해서 상대방을 설득 할 수 잇냐 인데 지금 이 에세이는 각 바디의 예시나 설명들이 이유를 구체적으로 잘 설명보충 하고 있기 때문에 잘 서술된 에세이입니다. 수고많으셧습니다. |