-Describe the event that has influenced your life in a positive way.
A time One of the events that has influenced my life in a positive way is when I took the test to enter a university. In that test, I got a received the higher highest score than ever on the exam. (듣는 이 입장에서는 한번밖에 볼 수 없는 시험일텐데 왜 가장 높은 점수라고 하는지 이해하기 어려울 수 있어요, I received a higher score than I did on my mock exams 이런식으로 설명하시는 것이 더 좋을 것 같습니다).
First, I realized the importance of efforts (표현이 어색해요) and I began to work on everything with a lot of effort.
Because my efforts of the past could make the result. (해석이 안되는 어색한 문장입니다)
Second, since then that, I have not been afraid of exams.
Because I trust that my hard work will pay off efforts for tests will help me get higher scores.
-What do you think is the most difficult stage of life, childhood, teens, or adulthood?
I think the adulthood is the most difficult stage of my life.
First, adults have a lot of things to take care of. Adults are responsible for everything they did because they are not minors protected by laws.
Second, adults have many difficulties about their jobs.
To be specific, not only do they have difficulties in finding a job, but they also have difficulties in working in the workplace.
-Describe an event or change that took place in your country in the last 25 years.
One of the changes that took place in my country in the last 25years is that my country has become a big city from the small country. (국가가 작은 국가에서 큰 도시로 되었다라고 해석이 됩니다. 더 맞는 내용을 넣어주세요)
First, my country became a developed country.
Technology and science have been greatly developed and tall buildings that weren’t did not exist in the past have been constructed.
Second, a lot of people have been migrated from other countries.
Because as my country progressed, many foreigners had a lot of interests to in my country.
-Explain the advantages and disadvantages of carrying notebook computer at school.
It has a lot of advantages and disadvantages to carry a laptop at school.
First, one of the advantages of carrying a laptop is that students don’t have to carry heavy books.
Students can store contents of lectures on the laptop and use them later without books.
Second, one of the disadvantages is that it not good for students’ memory.
Writing directly on papers can be more helpful in improving their memory than typing on the laptop.
-What are the advantages and disadvantages of online shopping?
Online shopping has a lot of advantages and disadvantages.
First, one of the advantages is that online shopping is very convenient.
People can buy products while sitting in a chair without going to stores.
Second, one of However, the disadvantages is that the products of online shopping malls might not be in consistent with the pictures of on the online site.
Because sellers upload the pictures of products that look better than they are in real life things on the internet.
-Do you think it’s okay for kids to have a cell phone?
I think it’s okay for kids to have a cell phone.
First, when kids have an emergency, they can contact with their parents immediately.
Because children are more likely to be at risk than adults it is important for them to have a cell phone for this use a mean of contacting.
Second, there are many educational applications in on a cell phones.
Because usual kids have a lot of interest in cell phones, they will enjoy learning through the apps more a cell phone if they use educational applications of their cell phone, it is very educationally helpful to children.
-Do you agree or disagree with the statement that students don’t need to memorize details from classes because you can easily look up details and facts on the internet?
I disagree with the statement that students don’t need to memorize details from classes because they can easily look up details and facts on the internet.
First, if they don’t memorize details of their lecture, their abilities to memorize memory might become weak. Abilities to memorize Memory can be improved by practice practicing memorize various things.
Second, memorizing details from classes enable students to gain knowledge.
To be specific, it is important to have a broad range of knowledge to excel in today’s highly competitive society.
-Do you think it’s better for students to learn diverse subjects, or to focus on one?
I think it’s better for students to learn diverse subjects than to focus on one.
First, learning diverse subjects enables students to gain new experiences.
Students attain broader perspective through experiences, which is qualities of a successful person.
Second, learning diverse subjects enables students to gain knowledge.
It’s important to have a broad range of knowledge to excel in today’s highly competitive society.
-Do you agree or disagree with the statement that artists and musicians are important people in this society?
I agree with the statement that artists and musicians are important people in this society.
First, they enable people to relieve their stress.
In order to live a happy life, it is good for people to appreciate music and art instead of being preoccupied with their jobs.
Second, they make the world more beautiful.
Paintings on the walls and music flowing on the road make the world better.
-Do you agree or disagree with the idea that it’s important for children to learn to draw or paint?
I agree with the statement that it’s important for children to learn to draw or paint.
First, learning to draw or paint enable children to improve their creativity.
Children can imagine a lot of things by drawing their own pictures.
Second, they can relieve their stress by painting something.
Children can forget about their complicated things (어색한 표현입니다 - their studies) by being interested in using a variety of colored materials and concentrated on it,
-Do you play sports to enjoy the game, or to win/compete?
I play sports to enjoy the game.
First, playing sports games makes me happy provide pleasant for me on their own.
Even If my team lose, playing sports games is enjoyable enough.
Second, playing sport games to win can cause people involved in the game to be injured.
For example, last year when I played soccer with my friends, one person hurt another person by a desire to win.
-Do you agree or disagree with the decision to allow students to park their cars on campus?
I disagree with the decision to allow students to park their cars on campus.
First, usual most campuses don’t have enough parking lots that accommodate all of the students’ cars.
If so, there will be many problems about related to the lack of parking space parking
Second, professors can have difficulties when they park their cars on campus.
It is important for professors to keeping times be on time for of their lectures. But if students are allowed to park their cars on campus, it will make professors to take a lot of time to park.
점수표 말고 표현위주로 라이팅처럼 첨삭 부탁드립니다. 외울 자료 만드는 중이에요!