■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic :
| The following appeared in the summary of a study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia. | "Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, for the past several decades, food-processing companies have also been adding salicylates to foods as preservatives. This rise in the commercial use of salicylates has been found to correlate with a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by participants in our twenty-year study. Recently, food-processing companies have found that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods. With this new use for salicylates, we can expect a continued steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia." | Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument. |
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▶ Your Answer :
The
author assumes that the number of headache patients in Mentia are going to be
declined with increasing use of salicylates as foods by people. While supporting the argument, however, the author makes numerous assumptions which cannot be taken for granted thus the argument remains largely unconvincing without further evidence to verify unjustified assumptions.
To
begin with, the author assumes that direct causation of a steady decline in the
average number of headaches is the rise in commercial use of salicylates, which
may not be true. This is because, as time goes by, life style of people and
medical technology have been changing during several decades and it can open
many possibilities that diets of people might have been affecting on headaches
and management of people's health by developed medical services might have been
making headache decline. Thus, additional evidence is required to decide
whether the rise in commercial use of salicylates is direct causation of a
steady decline in the average number of headaches.
Moreover,
it is assumed that food-processing companies is planning to add salicylates as
flavor additives for their foods, which may not be warranted. The author
overlooks that the research result of the companies does not mean that they
will use salicylates as flavor additives. It still has possibilities that the
effectiveness of use salicylates as flavor additives might be not enough and
this new use for salicylates might have deadly side effects. Therefore, in
order to judge if use of salicylates as flavor additives by the companies must
be implemented further proof is required to be offered such as announcement of
the companies about their food-processing policies.
Even
if the above assumption is proven right, the author's assumption that the rise
in use of salicylates occurs a continued steady decline in the number of
headaches is based on vague evidence. For instance, capacity of human might be
not large enough to absorb more salicylates and it is possible that more use of
salicylates might be occur some bad side effects which the companies did not
expect before. Hence, evidence to prove a steady effect of salicylate or
similar evidence is sorely lacking and should be provided to verify whether a
continued steady decline in the number of headaches can be occurred by the rise
in use of salicylates or not.
In
conclusion, further evidence such as evidence which can guarantee that the rise
in use of salicylates is a steady decline in the number of headache, food
companies will use salicylate as flavor additives and an increase in use of
salicylates must occurs a continued steady decline in the number of headaches. |
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500자 이상은 적고 싶은데 제가 실력이 부족해서ㅠㅠ