[PART 1]
Q. Are you a student or do you work?
A. I'm a student. I'm a freshmen in Ewha Womans University, and currently I don't have a particular major and I don't have any major right now, but I'm going to (여유가 된다면 planning to 로 수정해주시는 게 좋습니다. 이러한 사소한 차이를 누적시키면서 표현력에서 점수를 벌어간다고 생각하시면 돼요.) major in Computer Science next year.
[PART 2]
Q. Describe an interesting job that you know.
You should say:
what the job is
what kind of education or qualities are needed to get this job
and explain why you think this job is interesting.
A. There are some interesting jobs around me. However, one of the most interesting jobs for me is a white (그렇게 크게 문제가 되는 사항은 아니지만, 너무 h 발음이 강하게 나는 면이 어느정도 보이므로 가능한 경우에 한해서 조금 덜 두드러지게 말씀해주시면 좋을 것 같아요.) hacker. The white hacker is a hacker who protects people's your accounts on the in Internet. There are several things (여기의 경우도 여유가 된다면 requirements 로 바꿔주시는 게 좋고요.) that are (are 보다는 a 쪽으로 발음이 샜습니다.) needed to get this job. The first one is the regular Mathematics educations. White hackers should know that Maths in detail, because it is directly related to passwords. And next is computing languages. Bad hackers can invade the network system in any language, so white hacker should know most of computing languages. And finally, white hacker should be good at problem solving. Preventing bad hackers from invading network system is similar as to solving Mathematic problems. Therefore, problem solving is the quality that white hackers are needed. (앞서 했던 말입니다.) I think this job is interesting because the white hacker exists for a good reason. The other Other hackers, such as grey hackers and or (생략 가능하고, 그렇게 해주는 게 좋아요.) black hackers, are (여기도 마찬가지이고요.) usually called for bad people who invades other people's internet account. So, many people think just a hacker is a really bad job. (사람들은 해커라는 단어에 대해 부정적인 인식을 가지고 있다~라는 쪽으로 서술하는 것이 더 자연스럽습니다.) However, white hacker is the hacker who exists for a good reason. Therefore, I think white hacker is really interesting.
[PART 3]
Q. What kinds of jobs make lots of money?
A. There are several kinds of jobs that make lots of money. I think one representative jobs that earns a lot of money are doctors. These days, students want to go to college for doctors in order to have a (여기를 너무 빠르게 넘어가셔서 거의 안 들리다시피 했으므로, 조금만 더 뚜렷하게 드러내주세요.) career related to doctors. It is because doctors earn a lot of money. whether they go to college hospital or they open their own hospitals stores. These days, the medicinal technologies are a lot developed a lot and people usually go to hospital to cure their diseases. Therefore, doctors earn a lot of money because people are interested in health problem these days.
Q. What kind of jobs should be better paid?
A. There are several kinds of jobs that are paid less than they should be. One of them is careers related to services, such as a waiter or telephone counsellors ('카운' 쪽에 가깝게 말씀하셨는데, '캬운' 과 같이 ㅑ 발음을 조금 더 살린다고 생각해주시면 될 것 같아요.) in shopping malls. They really work hard, and have to deal with emotional customers including emotional things. Therefore, they get really tired after they have heard hear complains about their services from customers. Therefore, they should be paid more than they are these days, because (because 를 발음하실 때 여기보다는) they can be hurt emotionally or physically. Because (이쪽에서 발음하신 것과 같이 맞춰주세요. 전자의 경우는 o 발음이 나다시피 했습니다.) of this reason, I think jobs related to services should be better paid.
감사합니다!
총평: 일단 발음과 관련해서 발목이 잡히시는 일은 없을 것으로 보입니다. 물론 원어민급의 자연스러움은 절대 아니었지만, 그래도 말하고자 하는 단어와 문장들이 대부분 뚜렷하게 발음되었고, 이에 따라 전달하고자 하는 내용이 이해가 되지 않는 일은 없었네요. 대신 중간중간에 멈추는 부분 관련해서는, 어렵겠지만 최대한 개선이 필요하고요.
내용상으로도 크게 문제되는 부분은 없었는데, 가끔 했던 말을 문장만 바꿔 반복한다든지 관사 쪽에서의 오류가 보이므로 수정해주시면 되겠습니다. 그래도 전반적으로는 좋은 점수를 받으실 수 있을 것으로 보이네요. 수고하셨습니다 :)