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The problem of over population has emerged
as one of the most Living in crowded cities has brought significant problems facing humans in the twenty-first
century. This essay will discuss the problems associated with our society and
offer some measures to tackle this issue.
There are a variety of issues which result
from overcrowded cities. The primary problem is that the cost of living is
higher than in rural areas and housing is usually much more expensive. It can
be cause a gap between the rich and poor. In addition, a number of citizens are
highly exposed to high (high 가 연속해서 두 번 쓰였으므로 가급적이면 하나는 바꿔주시는 게 좋습니다.) level of pollution caused by heavy traffic. In long run,
the air quality is getting worse. It means that citizens may suffer from
respiratory diseases, especially lung cancer that will shorten people’s life
expectancy.
Despite of these challenges, there are a
number of ways to solve this In order to solve these issues, governments should actively encourage inhabitants
of a crowded city to move to suburbs. Firstly, governments could support people
who leave the city with financial support such as reduction of taxes or subsidy.
In terms of domestic finance, It it can be a good option to moving. Another tactic
that government should invest more transportation system and facilities from to
suburbs to. If the transportation system will be better, they would not worry
about living far away from the city. (이 문단은 다시 작성해주셔야 하는데, 여기에 관해서는 총평에서 말씀드리겠습니다.)
In order to solve these issues, I believe that governments should make effort to encourage loads of people of a crowded city to move to suburbs by offering realistic benefits such as reduction of taxes or subsidy. As a majority city dwellers migrate from urban areas, naturally the population density of a metropolitan area is reduced, and also would be decreasing the rate of crime and pollution at the same time. However, some of citizens have their own reason to stay in city, such as job opportunities and education. This is why governments intervene to solve the problem, because only they can introduce rural development policies. If countryside areas improve the quality of living like as urban areas, people are willing to live in small town . -> 코멘트 주신 것 참고해서 다시 작성해 보았습니다! 이렇게 작성하면 될 지 다시한번 봐주시면 감사하겠습니다!! 그리고 작성하다 보니 두번째 문단을 조금 더 많이 작성 한 것 같은데 이 정도는 감점될 정도 인가요?ㅠㅠ
In conclusion, it is true that crowded
cities bring serious problems such as our health and financial problem. Thus, I believe that governments should encourage people to move to smaller areas ~ 등 However I
believe that it can be resolved when governments do financial support and
invest in suburb areas. I claim that governments promote to migrate from cities to suburbs is one of the best ways to solve the problems of city life. -> 이 부분도 다시 작성했습니다:)
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