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This map explains shows information about constructing a new supermarkt in two feasible areas in Garlsdon town where 65,000 people live in order to illustrate two possible areas for the supermarket >> 문제랑 너무 비슷합니다. >> 서론 구성하는 연습 더 해주시길 바랍니다
To begin with, the first available option S1 is located in the north-west part of the countryside, >> 반면에라는 뜻을 가진 while 앞엔 콤마가 붙습니다 while the second option S2 is at the town centre where does not have traffic zone. On the map, the southern and northern parts is an are industry areas,>> 콤마 빼주세요 and the others of areas are for housing between the centre and countryside. Railway passes near the area of both options, Railway that is located through north-west to south-east of the town.>> 두 문장 사이에 연결하는 말이나 뒤에 railway 앞에 전치사도 없어서 하나 지워드렸습니다 굳이 필요하지 않은 말이기도 하구요
Otherwise, around the town>> the construction area 라고 쓰면 뒤와 겹치지 않을 듯 싶네요, there are three neighbor towns: Hindon, Bransdon, and Cransdon. The nearest town from the centre is Hindon where 10,000 people live and nearer to S1 than S2. Bransdon with the population of 15,000 populations is 16km away from the centre,>> 콤마 빼주세요 and Cransdon that , which is the most crowded neighbor town with 29,000 people, is has a distance about 25km away from the centre.>> 앞과 똑같아 구조 바꿔드리려 이렇게 작문했습니다
143자로 테스크 7자 미달입니다 전체적인 분석은 괜찮았지만 맵은 서론 본론 결론의 형태로 결론의 단락을 만들어주는게 더 좋을 수 있습니다 뭐는 센터에서 가깝지만 ~는 어떻다는 식의 오버럴한 분석을 나타내주는 식으로요 관사나 수일치 문제가 가장 많았습니다 문법 부분 잡아주시구요 단어도 다양하게 문장구조를 다양하게 해주시길 바랍니다 단어를 많이 알면 다양한 문장을 구성할 수 있습니다
Task Achievement - 4 Coherence and Cohesion - 6 Lexical Resource - 6 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 5
5.5 예상합니다 |