▶ Your Answer :
(모든 문장은 대문자로 시작을 해주셔야합니다)
the given table depicts the percentage of
expenditure of citizens on each month into different 4 four different sections among five 5
countries.
in brief, what stands out from the table is
that food and drink and housing have higher expenditures normally are far higher than other categories counties,
while the clothing was least spent on is the less money used among the other sections
in more detail, the most proportion of highest expenditure in France, Germany and UK were for at housing with 31 percent, 33
percent and 37 percent, respectively. meanwhile, food and drink was accounted
for higher percentages at those countries as well. reversely, France was used
the least money on clothing with 7 percent and habitant of the UK spent money their
profits at the same percentages of for clothing and entertainment with 11 percent.
On the other hand, the citizens of Turkey
and Spain spent the most of their income on food and drink. furthermore, food and
drink was had a slightly higher for Turkey by 5 percent than that of 31 percent for
Spain. In addition, the rest of all other sources were used under 20 percent
for those two countries.
Score: 6.5 Comment: 내용 정리를 더 해주시고 문법/표현에 조금 더 신경을 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 일부 표현이 어색하거나 문맥상 알맞는 표현이 아닙니다. 또한 문장 구조에도 신겨을 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 어색하게 들리는 문구나 절들이 많습니다. 그 외에는 글 안에 있는 수정을 봐주시면 될 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |