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The line graph compares the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal
in terms of the amount of average greenhouse gas emissions per person between
1967 and 2007.
It is clear that there is are significant changes in the figures for carbon
dioxide emissions per person in four countries in the 40-years period. While
the amounts of greenhouse gas emissions in the UK and Sweden decreased between
1967 and 2007, the same figures in Italy and Portugal increased in the same
period. On the top of that, the country’s rank of the amount of greenhouse gas
emissions changed after 1987.
By 2007, the UK’s figure for carbon dioxide emissions had fallen
gradually by around 2 metric tonnes. The amount of greenhouse gas emissions in
Sweden increased by about 2 metric tonnes in 1977, and fell dramatically, at
below 6 metric tonnes in 2007. (시작점에 대한 언급 없이 갑자기 2007년이 나와서 수치가 감소했다고 적는 것은 흐름상 부자연스럽겠죠.) On the contrast, in the years 1967 and 2007, the
numbers of carbon dioxide emissions in Italy and Portugal saw an considerable increase
considerably, by around 4 and 5 metric tonnes, respectively. It is noticeable
that Italy had a bigger figure for carbon dioxide emissions than Sweden after
1987, and in 2007, the amount of greenhouse gas emissions in Italy and Sweden
were around 8 and below 6 metric tonnes, respectively.
211words로 200자 넘으면 안좋다고 알고 있는데, 어떻게 더 줄여야 할지를 몰라서 우선 올려봅니다...! 처음해봐서..부족합니다... 많이 알려주세요...! 그리고 첨삭 서비스 몹시 감사해요..!
A: 200자 넘는다고 해서 무조건 안 좋은 건 아닙니다! 물론 400자~500자 이정도 되면 문제가 있겠지만요. 이 글처럼 211자 정도는 아무런 상관이 없어요 :)
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