▶ Your Answer :
It
is a fact that elders have a wide knowledge in life from all practical
experiences. Some people claim that, the wisdom from elders can teach young people, but and
young people cannot teach elders. On the other hand, other people, like myself,
believe that young people can teach various knowledge to elders. Recently the
world has changed to an information age, which are more function for young
generation <(unclear) than old generation. Therefore, the young generation can teach old
people about basically everything based on information.
Seniors
can teach young people about the life experiences. Since they have lived longer
than the young generation, they could have experienced more techniques than that of
young people. The life experiences such as practical skills, communication
skills and social skills, can be learned from old generations. These skills are
helpful and effective since these are still in use in reality. <(질문이 young generation can/cannot teach something to the older generation인 만큼 old generation이 무엇을 가르켜줄수 있는지 보다는 young generation이 무엇을 가르켜줄수있는지에 대해 focus를 해주시면 더 좋을 것 같습니다. 이 문단은 마치 질문이 what can the old/young generation teach each other 인 것 처럼 들리게 합니다.)
Young
people can teach everything to old people, because they can acquire all the
knowledge from the latest technologies. Therefore, the amount of knowledge they
gather would be more than that of the old generation. Thus So that, young people
could be able to teach various knowledge to elders compared to the elders
provide on life experiences. <(what kind of knowledge/knowledge about what?)
In
conclusion, the amount of knowledge that old people can provide is limited
compared to those of young generation. The old generation can teach the young
people about life experiences and wisdom whereas the youth can teach everything
that based on from the latest technologies.
Score: 6 Comment: Older generation이 무엇을 가르켜 줄수 있는지에 대한 내용은 굳이 서술을 안해주셔도 될 것 같습니다. 질문의 focus는 young generation이기 때문에 young generation에 더 focus를 해주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 그 외에는 silly/small mistakes에 신경을 써주시면 될 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |