▶ Your Answer : The three pie charts illustrates the total spending of the British school spending in the year of 1981, 1991,>> 세개 이상의 나열 중 마지막엔 콤마 넣어줍니다 and 2001. We can easily observe that the teachers' salaries that take almost half of total spending had been accounted for the largest expense for all three years. In 1981 and in 1991, the percentages of other workers' salaries, insurance,>> 위와 마찬가지로 나열 콤마입니다 and resources remained at pretty much the same, but the spending in furniture and equipment had decreased about 10% in 1991, >> comparing은 문장 앞에를 받아주는 동시에 비교하므로 콤마를 넣어주세요comparing to 1981. In the year of 2001, the basic structure of school spending had changed a lot from few decades ago. The three largest changes occurred in 2001 were the percentage of total school spending in 'insurance' and , 'furniture and equipment' , and 'resources'. By comparing the result of 2001 to 1991, the percentage of the insurance expense had increased to 8%, which was almost three times larger than 1991. As well as insurance, the percentage of school spending for furniture and equipment in 2001 was 23% which was about 18% higher than 1991 and 8% higher than 1981. But >> but and also so or 는 문두에 쓰지 않습니다 However, 를 써주세요 interestingly unlike other two, the third change was a huge decrease in the percentage of resources' spending by a comparison to the year of 1991.
문법의 구조가 다양하지 않다고 느껴집니다 문법 특히 콤마 부분에서 실수가 있으시네요 꼭 공부하시길 바랍니다 콤마 하나로 문장의 뜻도 좌우가 될 수 있습니다 단어도 다양하게 써주시면 좋겠습니다 너무 같은 단어들만 배치되어 있습니다
Task Achievement - 6 Coherence and Cohesion - 6 Lexical Resource - 5 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 5 5.5 예상합니다
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