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The diagrams picture provides information about the
process and tools to make cement,>> 콤마 빼주세요 and how concrete can be generated by using
cement the material for construction of building constructing.
To begin with, regarding a production of
cement, lime stone and clay should be crushed to be powder by crusher. And >> and also so or but 은 문두에 쓰지 않습니다
then, the powder should be is heated in the rotating heater after the mixing
process. After that, the result materials product is grinded, becoming cement
which should be and packed in bags. In case of making concrete for building,
15% of cement, 10% of water, 25% of sand, >> 세개 이상 나열이 있을 경우엔 마지막 항목 앞에 있는 and/or 앞에 콤마가 붙습니다 and 50% of gravel >> 계속 비슷한 꼴이니 gravel, which takes up a half of the total amount of ingredients 등으로 표현해보는 것도 좋은 시도일 듯 싶네요, (small size of
stones) should be are mixed using by the concrete mixer.
Overall, the two diagrams this flow chart shows what kind of
steps and equipment should be used prepared to make cement and , materials>> 무슨 materials 죠? cement를 만드는 것인가요 아니면 콘크리트를 만드는 것인가요, and their
proportions for producing concrete in order to construct building.
글자수가 사실 134자 밖에 안되고, 지금 다시 보면 Typo도 조금 있는데, 이정도로 썼을 때, 점수 얼마나 받을 수 있는지 궁금합니다.(목표는 writing 6.0 이라;;) 가능하면 첨삭도 부탁드릴게요. ______________________________ 각 문단 첫 시작은 한 칸 띄어주세요 글자수가 부족하면 가장 큰 감점 요인이 됩니다 should be 의 형태는 웬만하면 자제하도록 해주세요
Task Achievement - 4 Coherence and Cohesion - 6 Lexical Resource - 5 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 6 5.5 예상합니다
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