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In modern days, although many parents
desire to spend time with their children, the relationship between parents and
children seems to be less close. It is clear that a lack of closeness in
families has a negative impact on the child’s developments.
As double income families have
significantly increased due to in busy social life, many parents spend a relatively
amount of time away from their children. Most students learn the knowledge of
moral or basic needs that should gain from their parents by relying on their
teachers or the internet. All of these skills are needed when beginning the
social life but children have difficulties in the difference between right and
wrong. In addition, children are more likely to be watching TV or surf the
internet at home. However, it has a major impact on children’s health and growth
because they have improper eating habits and it causes nutritional imbalance or
obesity. (이 문단은 문법상 오류는 없지만 내용상으로는 전반적인 수정이 필요한데, 자세한 사항은 총평에서 설명드리겠습니다.)
However, there are feasible steps that can be taken (이런 식으로 작성하면 1인칭 사용을 없앨 수 있습니다.) we can
take. Parents and children should spend as much time as they can to keep a
healthy relationship. First of all, governments or schools should make programs that are able to participate with parents. Visiting museums or doing outdoor
activities can build up the relationship between families and get educational
knowledge. Also, parents should try to have dinner with their children. Throughout the meal dinner, parents can encourage children to obey laws and teach regulations because
their sense of values is often based on guidance at home. It helps children’s
quality of life and realizes the parent’s affection in later life.
In conclusion, there is no doubt that it is
necessary to be more close to the relationship between parents and children. Both
of them need their efforts. (본론에 있던 내용을 더 구체적으로 요약해주세요~)
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