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Humans may make crimine or civil problems >> civil problem 은 말이 이상합니다
when they live each other in a society. That’s >> That is 라고 풀어서 써주세요 the why any independent countries
regulates people’s activities by law to prevent them from going into chaos states being chaotic.
People may think that they are protected by
law as an equivalent human. Therefore, they want that all accused>> accused는 너무 한정적입니다 arrested도 될 수 있으니 all criminals 이라고 해주세요 have to be
judged by the >> same 은 the 와 같이 다닙니다 same punishment about the same case. In this case, we can easily
judge easily >> 부사는 동사 뒤에 위치시켜 주세요 all cases according to the said law. Moreover, >> 문장이 길어 끊어드렸습니다 and we don’t >> do not 이라고 풀어서 써주세요 축약형은 쓰지 않습니다 need to argue whatever
the culprits had had a very malicious intention,>> 콤마 빼주세요 or reluctantly committed the
crime in an unavoidable situation. And >> and but also so or 는 문두에 들어가지 않는 접속사들입니다 we, as a just observer, might be convinced about
that the society is very safe with full justice.
In my opinion, all people over the world
have different minds and various life backgrounds. We cannot absolutely judge absolutely a
person by the cover. Someone committed a crime, but the judge and the lawyer standing in
front of the court on behalf of the public should consider the situation for
the suspect about why did not the accused avoid the crime they cannot help do the evil things. It might have some
reasons to be identified during the investigating stage in the court in favor of
his/her human rights.
In conclusion, I understand that the presence
of law and judicial authority means tools that make people believe that a sin will
be sentenced according to justice and in line with common sense. If a criminal
would be >> if 절에선 will would 등의 미래는 쓰지 않습니다 is judged by a fixed punishment, then nobody will respects for social
disciplines and human’s consciousness. The independent of legal authority must
be permanently sustained forever. >> 더 좋을 듯 싶어 써드렸습니다
전체적인 글은 좋았습니다 하지만 중간에 by the cover 라는 말은 테스크와 맞지 않는 듯 싶습니다 정해진 법이 겉모습과는 연관성이 없기 때문입니다 하지만 다른 글들의 내용이 괜찮았습니다
Task Achievement - 7 Coherence and Cohesion - 6 Lexical Resource - 7 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 6 6.5 예상합니다
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