▶ Your Answer :
The graph shows The line chart illustrates >> 이 정도면 표절입니다 the increase >> increase를 제시한게 아닙니다 사람 수의 변화나 사람 수의 trend 정도라고 하시는게 맞습니다 in population of the three regions(Columbia, Washington, and Yamhill) in the American state of Oregon between from 1940 and to 2000.
In 1940, the population in the Washington was about 75,000 and increased sharply among them between 1940 and 1970. The population number of people the in Yamhill increased gently from 30,000 to 45,000. Likewise, the Columbia had risen rose modestly during the same period.
In 1970, the Washington had the population a lot of populace about 125,000 and the . However, Yamhill had the population nearly 45,000 and the Columbia had the population approximately 35,000.>> 하지만 Yamhill 과 Columbia는 45,000 과 35,000으로 각각 낮은 수치를 기록했다 정도로 말해주는게 훨씬 좋습니다
By 2000, the Washington had increased >> Washington이 상승했나요? more sharply to 245,000. However, the Yamhill had increased >> Yamhill이 상승했나요? modstly to 90,000. Likewise, the population in the Columbia had a gentle increase about 75,000 during the same time.
The greatest population in Washington kept going by 2000>>??. The population in the Yamhill and Columbia had an increase about the same amount between 1940 and 2000.
In 2000, the population in the Washinton was more than triple what it had been that in 1940. Also >> 문두엔 also so and or but 을 쓰지 않습니다, the population in the Yamhill and Columbia was also triple what it had been in , compared to 1940.
문단별로 들여쓰기도 돼 있지 않고 각 지역의 이름의 첫자는 대문자인 기본적인 문법도 지켜지지 않았습니다 도시나 지역 이름 앞에 the를 쓰지도 않구요 오류가 지배적입니다 문단을 나누지 않을 부분에서 모두 나눠져 있습니다 오류가 너무 많네요 문장들도 효과적으로 논리적으로 잘 전개돼 구성되지 않았습니다
Task Achievement - 6 Coherence and Cohesion - 5 Lexical Resource - 5 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 4
5.0 예상합니다 |