In some countries it is illegal to reject
candidates for a job based on their ages. Discuss advantages and disadvantages
of this and give your own opinion. (topic: age discrimination, illegal)
It is true that in some nations, age
discrimination on hiring people is not allowed by law. While restrictions of
job opportunities by age has both benefits and drawbacks, I would argue that it
has more negative impacts on society and individuals.
On the one hand, there are positive outcomes when companies check the ages (단순히 나이를 확인하는 것과, 나이 때문에 거절하는 것은 전혀 다릅니다. 주의해주세요~) of their new interviewee. Firstly, it is generally accepted that a company should pay higher salary to older candidates as they are approved for the job because they have more experiences on their field. As a result, it avoids employing them in order to save cost, as their wages could be a financial burden. In addition, this approach could curb the emergence of underage workers in businesses. For example, to prevent hiring underage staff, management has to double check the applicants’ identity and age documents.
On the other hand, I stand to claim that it may have detrimental repercussions for the communities. It is common that in most developed countries, the population of old people, who are about to retire, is increasing. With this type of constraints, the rate of their unemployment is rising, and it could be one of the major social issues in the society. Consequently, the level of economic growth would decrease as they do not have money to spend. For instance, there is a report that some provinces in developed countries are dependent on senior citizens' expenditure for the economy.
In conclusion, I believe that age
discrimination's upsides outstrip its downsides in the long term. So
governments should monitor industries whether they do limit the chances of job
applicants by age. (제언은 너무 나갔습니다. 설령 논제에서 '내 의견을 작성해라' 라고 했어도, 그냥 주어진 사항에 대해 뭐가 맞는지 정도만 적어주시면 되지, 더 나아가서 ~를 해야한다~처럼 제언하는 것은 적절하지 않습니다.)
1. 목표 점수: 7.0
2. 시험 예정 날짜: 1월19일
3. 이전 점수: 6.0
4. 워드수: 270
총평: (6/6/7/7) 6.5
문법/어휘 쪽 기초체력이 탄탄하신 편이라, 개인적으로는 왜 이전 시험에서 6.0을 받으셨는지 조금 의문이긴 합니다. task 1에서의 감점을 고려한다고 해도 6.5 밑으로는 절대 떨어질 일이 없어보이기는 하는데, 우선은 task 1도 봐야할 것 같네요.
마지막 문장같은 경우는 특별히 더 주의해주시고, 문법 어휘는 깔끔한 편이니까 자신감을 가지셔도 좋을 겁니다. (대신, on the one hand/other hand 구조는 7.0 이상 필요하신 수험생들께는 추천드리지 않습니다. 너무 인위적이여서요.)
수고하셨습니다 :)