The diagram shows the difference of the Grange Park (기존도 관사를 제외하고는 틀린 건 아닙니다.) public
park between when it first opened in 1920 and today.
Overall, it is apparent that the park has
been totally reconstructed over the given period. (여기 매우 중요한데, 왜 잘못되었는지에 대해 총평에서 링크를 하나 넣어드릴테니까 꼭 정독해주세요!)
The most notable changes is that, at the
first, the rose gardens were located in the north and south sides. However,
only the rose garden in left side of Arnold Avenue (다른데에도 다 대문자 시작해주시면 됩니다.) arnold avenue entrance remains now, and
others all combined in one big size with four-sides seats relocated to the
middle of park, replacing the fountain. In addition, a café has been built in
where the rose garden used to be located at right next to the arnold avenue
entrance. Furthermore, the pond for water plants at the right end side of park
has made way for children’s play area. On the stage for musicians, it has
enlarged and changed to amphitheatre for concerts with more seats at the same
place. Moreover, a water feature took place at the right next to the entrance
near eldon street (여기도 대문자 시작입니다.), but the glasshouse which originally located in that area was
demolished. Another newly built facility is an underground car park, it is located just right
beside of a water feature. (이렇게 작성할 경우, 지하주차장이 지상의 ~~와 같이 있다는 의미가 되어버립니다. 말이 안 되겠죠. 지하주차장의 입구로 수정해주세요!)
다음 시험 예정 1월 15일 - 목표점수 6.0
총평: (6/6/6/6) 6.0
두 번째 문단만 아니었어도 6.5까지도 볼 수 있었을 것 같아서 아쉽네요. 링크를 하나 첨부해드릴테니까, 저렇게 작성하지 않도록 신경써주세요! 수고하셨습니다 :)
https://www.gohackers.com/?c=ielts/ielts_info2/ielts_story&type=url&uid=469784undefined