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The pie graphs below exhibit illustrate the conclusion of study of the age distribution of different ages(0-14, 15-59, over 60 years old) of Yemen and Italy in given period>> 나이는 몇살부터 몇살까진지 말해주시고 given period 도 언제부터 언제까진지 말해주세요.
First of all, in both countries, the striking features trended were that the age between 15 and 59 was majority distribution took up more or less a half in over the whole period. In Yemen, in 2000, the youngest group of people was occupied a half of whole proportion. The next greatest population of age was from 15 to 59,>> 콤마 빼주세요 at 46.4 per cent. In 2050, the middle age of people dramatically increased dramatically >>부사는 동사 뒤에서 꾸밉니다 to 57.3 per cent, >> 반면에 라는 뜻을 가진 while 앞엔 콤마가 붙습니다 while the number of the youngest people fell by approximately 13 per cent. In Italy, in 2000, compared to Yemen, the percentage of the oldest group showed fairly larger distribution,>> 콤마 빼주세요 with 24.1 per cent. The middle age group The group of 15 to 59 years old >> 좀 더 다양하게 써드리겠습니다 was majority in 2002. In 2050, the number of the oldest population outstandingly increased outstandingly to 42.3 per cent, while 15-59 years` population decreased by 15 per cent.
To sum up, we can it is easily oberved that the number of 0-14 years old fairly occupied fairly in Yemen`s population. However, the oldest group showed the minimum percentage in both periods. In Italy, the percentage of the oldest group showed much more number than Yemen`s it that of Yemen. Nevertheless, >> 문두 부사 뒤 콤마입니다 the ratio of young population was much less in comparison to than Yemen.
Yemenite, Italian 등으로 쓰면 더 다양하게 좋은 표현들이 나왔을텐데 아쉽네요 우선 기본적인 문법에 대한 실수가 많습니다 콤마나 부사의 위치 등에서요 또한 같은 단어들이 너무 많습니다 we 같은건 안 쓰고 people 등의 3인칭적인 관점에서 글을 작성합니다 좀 더 눈에 띄는 부분들만 골라서 써주세요 거의 200자 됩니다
Task Achievement - 6
Coherence and Cohesion - 6 Lexical Resource - 5 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 5
5.5 예상합니다 |