▶ Your Answer :
With an increasing concern about
health, it has been argued whether private companies’ healthcare system protecting
individual health from illness should be accepted. Although some governments
claim the necessary for introducing it, the medical service should not be implemented
by private companies and followings are the supporting reasons.
To begin with, the privately owned hospitals can improve the quality of health service. Within the market system, these would endeavor investing in more advanced diagnostic equipment in order to increase a sufferer’s satisfaction. Also, to attract more patients, the benefits gained will be re-invested into patient care service and the development for medical technology.
An introduction
of private health service, however, would be beneficial to only a certain group of people.
Since the main purpose of private companies is to make profit, they would be prone
to offer more lucrative services to those patients who can afford it. However,
ordinary people would be deprived of enjoying the advanced care due to their
economic income. Additionally, unprofitable diseases would not be taken into account to in a private healthcare system. If private systems one are is introduced, it would be operated based on economic logic, then investments for preventing epidemic and incurable diseases which are seemingly not profitable from citizens would not be favored.
In conclusion, there are convincing arguments both for and against the private healthcare service but private hospitals can give more opportunities to people who want better and individualized care. However, the government's responsibility, offering medical service for unprivileged and handicapped people should not be disregarded.
Score:7 Comment: Very persuasive 한 에세입니다. 다만 두 번째 문단을 조금더 이런 advantage가 있다 보다는 이런 advantage가 있긴 하지만 이라는 뉘앙스를 조금더 살려주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 그래야 조금더 disadvatage쪽으로 글쓴이가 기울리고 있다는걸 앞에서 살릴수있을것같습니다. Introduction또한 조금더 improve 할수있는 부분이라고 생각합니다. 조금더 에세이의 대한 내용이나 아님 private health care 의 문제전들도 채워주시면 좋을 것 같습니다.
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