▶ Your Answer :
There is no doubt that a great number of
students are going to overseas to learn English. with this Regarding this issue, some people
may insist that moving to study in English speaking countries can be more
beneficial to students rather than studying at non speaking countries. Therefore, I agree with this contention as it has numerous positive impacts towards pupil.<(질문을 답해주고 있지는 않습니다. Non-English speaking countries에서 영어를 공부하는 것 보다 English speaking countries에서 영어를 공부하는 것이 장점이 더 많다 는 내용은 영어는 영어를 쓰는 나라에서 배우는게 최선의 방법이지만 그 방법만 있는 것이 아니라 라는 내용을 agree 하는지 disagree하는지 답을 해주지는 않는 것 같습니다.)
(영어가 중요한 언어이다 를 topic sentence로 써주시는 것 보다는 왜 영어를 여어 쓰는 나라에서 배우는게 되고인지 를 topic sentence으로 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다)>It is true that English is the pivotal
language all over the world, thus, by using that language is a the fundamental aspects
of studying English. Therefore, students need to immigrate to English speaking
countries such as USA, UK and Australia for learning this their language because English non-English speaking countries have a limit to learn about it. According
to a survey conducted in Korea last year, numerous juveniles immigrated to other
countries and they already had a significantly different level of education
systems in overseas. For this reason, those students can speak English fluently
as native speakers and they have recognized to use it at certain time without
any errors and time consumption consuming.
On top of this, comparing the compare and contrast
students between studying English in their own country and growing up in an English
speaking country, they will have enormous gaps between them because of
difference the circumstances of studying methods. For instance, many Korean massive of Korea
students are studying English in Korea, but if they were to be put in a situation are put into overseas to
communicate with a native English speaker, they tend to become silent speak nothing as mute. Due to the
fact that Korean students only concentrate for getting certificate of from
English exams, they do not know exactly what English is. Meanwhile, by gaining
knowledge of English in English speaking countries, students apt to heard
English all the time whole day as they are surrounded by only English speaking people there are only surrounded with English speaker around
them.
To conclude, it is clear that for studying
English, students need to be grown up in English speaking countries as the
positive impacts outweigh the negative impacts.
Score: 6 Comment: Positive impacts/negative impacts에 대해 서술을 해주시지는 않았습니다. 오히려 그저 왜 영어를 쓰는 나라에서 영어를 배우는게 최고인지에 대해 서술을 해주셨습니다. 그렇기 때문에 글쓴이의 introduction 과 conclusion은 body 문단의 내용과 매칭이 잘 안됩니다. 또한 내용은 영어 쓰는 나라에서 영어를 배우는게 최고이고 다른 방법이 없다 라는 주장 처럼 들립니다. 그렇다면 왜 다른 방법이 없다고 생각을 하시는지에 대해서도 서술을 해주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 또는 방법이 있지만 영어 쓰는 나라에서 만큼은 못 배운다라는 주장이시라면 그 내용에 대해서 서술을 해주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 문법상 표현/문장구조/capitalization/punctuation/collocation에 주로 틀리고 있습니다. 주의 해주시기를 바랍니다. 그 외에는 전체적으로 내용정리를 조금 더 해주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |