<Some people claim that not enough the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?>
Some people believe that not enough the waste from houses is recycled. In order to increase recycling, the government make it a legal requirement. I think that strict laws are needed to make people recycle more and more.
To begin with, in order to boost recycling, the government should enact laws. There is a limitation to do recycle spontaneously because of many people unconsciously throw their garbage it away unconscious for their convenience. For example, many people dispose their rubbish without recycling in 70s in Korea. However, the government enact laws of recycling, and as a result, more and more people participate in recycling due to strict laws. If they do not recycle well, the government impose find and do not pick up the rubbish as a punishment. (비슷한 말을 계속 돌려가면서 말하는 게 아니라, 엄격한 법이 적용된다면 사람들이 '왜' 재활용에 있어 더 신경을 쓸 것인가에 대해 작성할 수 있어야합니다. 여기의 경우 '벌금 부과에 따른 부담감' 등을 들어주시면 되겠고요.) Therefore, in order to increase recycling, the government must enact laws.
Moreover, the government should make policies to encourage recycling. This is because, recycling saves energy and environment. In the case of recycling, people can reuse items such as cans, plastics, and glass. To add to this, recycling reduces landfills caused by disposable rubbish. For instance, the government made strict policies when the landfills became full in Korea. As as result, Korean can use more space in landfills by increasing recycling. (여기도 그대로의 반복일 뿐입니다.) Therefore, enacting law is needed to make people recycle more of their waste. (이전 글과 비슷한 맥락에서 파란 부분은 '아무리 지워짜내도 아이디어가 더이상 떠오르지 않을 때에는 살려두시되, 웬만하면 다른 내용으로 넣어주세요. 빨간색으로 지워진 부분은 타협의 여지가 없습니다. 위에 말씀드렸듯이 '왜', '어떻게' 에 관해 구체적으로 작성해주세요~)
To sum up, in order to increase recycling the government should enact laws since recycling is very difficult to do spontaneously and also helpful to save our energy and environment. Therefore, I think laws are absolutely needed to make people recycle more.
총평: (5/5/6/6) 5.5
이전 글과 달리 이번에는 어휘에서의 문제가 그렇게 크지 않았네요. 반면에 내용 보강은 여전히 숙제로 남습니다. 아이디어가 부족하시면, 모범답안 등을 참고해서 대주제별로 (환경, 기술, 교육, 범죄 등) 정리해놓으시면 도움이 될 거에요. 절대로 비슷한 말만 계속 돌려서 말하지 않도록 주의해주세요! (단, 6점 이상이 필요하신 게 아니면 그냥 이대로 쓰셔도 무방합니다.) 수고하셨습니다 :)