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Some people argue that the specific talent of people is inborn >> 말이 안 됩니다 people have inborn talents 정도로 쓰시는게 맞고 처음부터 이렇게 some people~~ 식으로 말하는건 좋지 않습니다 선천적인 재능과 후천적인 재능 사이에 논쟁이 일고 있다 이런 식으로 처음에 문제 제기를 통해 전개를 보여주는게 좋습니다. Others, however, say that the persons` the innate abilities can be revealed after taking teaching >> 숨겨진 능력이 드러나는게 아니라 능력을 훈련하고 연습해서 만든단 얘깁니다 acquired in the course of lifetime. I would like to will describe the both arguments and will address my opinion.
To begin with, some people believe that the gift of human being is usually innate. There are many geniuses around the world. They usually have shown their outstanding faculties >> inventions. >> 주장으로 맞지 않는 문장입니다 단언적인 어투가 보이지 않습니다 They are always superior to others in the many realms such as sports, study, >> 세개 이상 나열 중 마지막 and/or 앞엔 콤마 붙여주세요 and art. Even though they are educated in the same way with others, they wil still achieve better outcomes. There is no doubt that this particularity is nature. >> 본론 구성이 이상합니다 제대로 주장 설명이 이뤄지지 않았습니다
Nevertheless, some people tend to exert their abilities after taking education. There are many superb sports celebrities around the world. People might think they are inborn to play better players more than others players. In fact, some of them were transparently inferior to others in the past. They usually are accelerated their capacity through education. >> people might think 같은건 설명같은 걸론 부족합니다 단순한 추측에 불과합니다 some of them were~~ 부분은 더욱 본인의 추측에 불과하구요 좋지 않은 본문입니다
Personally, I believe that some people are born with particular talents. It is because, even though they do not struggle with some topic>>??, they always attain perform better than normal people. They are usually inclined to think differently and approach to the topic an issue in a special way.
In conclusion, the people who accompany have with innate faculty have always shown the better features and results than others. However, some people are counter do not adt this fact because they also reveal their potential capacity after they get >> get 동사 피해주세요 educated. In my opinion, there are obviously some particular people who have innate skills,>> because 앞뒤론 콤마 안 붙습니다 because they normally precede practically normal people in many situations.
시험이 얼마남지않아 문법은 할시간이없어 단어만 엄청외우고있습니다..ㅠ 조언해주신것 생각하고 써봤는데 어떨지모르겠네요!!! 첨삭부탁드립니다. 감사합니다.
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Task Achievement - 6 Coherence and Cohesion - 4 Lexical Resource - 5 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 5
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