Your Answer ▼ The high level of unemployment has been one of grave issues in current society. The number of people seeking for occupations increases year by year. (논제에 대해 조금 더 구체적으로 보여주셔야 합니다. higher qualifications, current graduates 등의 핵심 표현이 추가되어야 하죠.) This essay will discuss the main factor of this problem and then address a feasible solution with reasonable rationale. It is undeniable that it has become more difficult to fit into eligibilities of any firm. A significant cause of this phenomenon is developing technology. With the start point of a modernized technology, numerous commercial areas experienced the deplete of the need for a human as a worker. For example, due to tremendous improvement of artificial translators, translator has not been necessitated as much degree as the past years. It is clear that the development of technology has brought human beings a convenience and portability, however, it also cause scarcity of job sources. It is impossible to restrain improvement of present technology for the sake of provision in jobs. However, an education can be the sole cure to alleviate a phenomenon of the lack of occupations. According to recent study, it is estimated that more jobs would be superceded with new technologies in the near future. On the other hand, there also will be surged demand for skillful people who can design, reorganize and fix new technology. Therefore it is essential for schools to project a subject that educate students technical skill. In fact, Korea has been enacted an implement that constrains all middle schools to train children to obtain computer skills. If the number of people who obtain a technical knowledge in the professional level increase, the unemployment level would likely to fall. All in all, I strongly think that the most influential reason for issue of creasing hardship of finding job is due to improvement of technology. I also opine that to solve this phenomenon, education of skills that caters for a modern job trend is required. * 제가아직 고등학생인데, essay 에서 'in fact, one of my co-worker'이런 식으로 예시를 쓰면 너무 거짓말이니까 쓰면 안될까요..? 항상 감사합니다 !
A: 아직 고등학생이신데 영어를 이렇게 잘하신다고요...? 대단하십니다! 여하튼 답변을 드리자면, IELTS 라이팅에서는 글에 사용된 사례 등의 사실 관계를 평가하기 위한 시험이 아니라, (물론 사과를 동물이라고 표현하는 등의 터무니없는 내용이 아닌 전제 하에서요) 주장을 전달하고자 하는 논리적 과정을 평가하고자 하므로, 해당 사항에 대해서는 걱정하지 않으셔도 됩니다 :)
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