> > 2009-11-13 11:53:03, '' 님이 쓰신 글입니다. ↓
■ You should spend about 40 minutes on this task ■ Present a written argument or case to an educated reader no special knowledge of?the?following topic ■ You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant ???evidence ■ You should write at least 250 words | |
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Topic :Modern development has given us several technological advancements that have made our lives more convenient. However, these developments also produce negative and positive effects. Discuss and explore the positive and negative effects of modernization. | |
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It is obvious that innovative technological advancements have made our lives much more convenient and it never seems to fall backward. Also, within the similar characteristic organizations <--어떤걸 말씀하시는거죠? 구체적으로 쓰시면 더 좋을듯 싶습니다~ get so competitive that they try to create unprecedented products that have led to a great number of innovations. I believe that it has been bringing brought more benefits to us us 가 누구인지 제3자의 입장에서는 햇갈릴 수 있어요! in terms of sustainability and economic advantages, but we must not forget to deal with other side effects as well.
First of all, one of technological improvements 어떤것 인지를 써주셔야 되요~ has contributed to alternative resources replacing natural resources. 지우시는게 좋을것 같습니다.--> Since natural resources such as oil, gas, coal, etc are limited, therefore we have to search for substitutes not to deplete the earth and our lives. Those alternative resources are not only necessary helpful to the demand of the humane but also to the preservation of nature. Without technological developments, there wouldn’t be any resource replacements and we won’t survive.
Secondarily, such high technologies help us to save time and money. I do emphasize those merits giving a representative example, the appearance of internet. As being a employer, I never have had enough time to go grocery shopping, so I have to take order goodies through a website. This convenient and easy method let allowed me to do my shopping whenever and it also saves my money since I do not have to directly go to the shopping center too without traffic.
Contrarily, I noticed that there has been a defect caused by the appearance of high technology.빼시는게 좋아요.--> Since MP3’s Devices like Ipod are is, for instance, becoming widespread, downloading music throughout the internet is available instead of producing CDs. Here’s the occurrence of problem, infringement of copyright. It would not be illegal as long as people buy music with paying and protect its copyright. <=좋은 문장입니다.
In conclusion, more benefits such as sustainability and saving time and money than disadvantages, I strongly believe the necessity of modern developments. <-- 문맥상 연결이 자연스럽지 않습니다. 다시 한번 수정해보세요. Moreover, when it comes to major roles of sustainability by replacing alternative resources, we have to have acted <== ed는 안붙습니다. on this more progressively. If those innovations are built without violations against the laws, we can definitely make our lives better and leave as it is to the next generations. <-- 좋은 문장입니다. | |
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