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The prevalence of advertisements, some people argue that the prevalence of advertisements needs to be banned. It is >> because 단독으로 문장 앞에 쓰지 않고 it is because 식으로 씁니다 because advertisements make our society harmful. Although,>> 콤마 빼주세요 It cannot be denied that advertisements affect negative influences>> 광고는 나쁜 영향에 영향을 미친다 의미의 중복이 되네요 influence negatively on society 정도가 낫겠네요, I believe that advertisements are necessary in today’s world.
First of all, there are cases that advertisements lead to impulsive buying. People make spontaneous decisions to buy products through home-shopping or online shopping mall. Even though,>> 콤마 빼주세요 they did not expect to buy.>> even though 는 접속사로 절 뒤에 다시 완전한 주절이 나와야합니다 Food, for instance, is a notable example. People usually does not hesitate to buy about that. Because it seems to be needed every day and is sometimes consumed some time. It is true that food is indispensable for daily life. However, it could be possible to be extravagance. In addition, some excess advertisements are to stimulate people making more purchases more. In this respect, this impulsive buying causes an over consumption. On the other hand, an advertisement has a significant function that we cannot overlook. That is an offering information to everybody. If there is not advertisements specially,>> 콤마 빼주세요 in case of new released product, people cannot gain information and they will find about products by themselves. Furthermore, there is also an influence to the companies, which cannot provide appropriate information to people. It would be caused to a decrease on the sales of goods. In this regard, advertisements play an important role offering information and penetrating deeply in people’s life. It is hard to imagine to living without advertisements. In conclusion, I would argue that even though advertisements make disadvantages such as an impulsive purchasing and over consumption. However, disappearing advertisements makes our life an inconvenience.
문법 실수가 많습니다 수동 능통 전치사 조동사 형용사 등 문법 쓰임과 품사들에 주의해주세요 Task Achievement - 6 Coherence and Cohesion - 5 Lexical Resource - 6 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 5 5.5 예상합니다 |